something disturbing at my school..you be d judge...

Sebenarnya post aku nih ada berkaitan dengan agama sikit...actually 2 3 kali gak la aku pikir nk wat post ni ke tidak...sebab aku xtau bertapa serious kah isu yg akan aku tulis ni...
Esok sepatutnya akan diadakan sambutan maulidur rasul peringkat sekolah...segala kertas kerja, jadual waktu dan aturcara ustazah2 sekolah aku dah disiapkan dan dah dipersetujui 2 minggu yg lepas..memang akan ambil masa sepanjang waktu persekolahan.alih2 td penyelia petang masuk bilik guru, cakap dgn ustazah supaya sambutan maulidur rasul di buat pada lewat petang dan cuma dalam masa setengah jam....imagine sambut maulidurrasul setengah jam...atas alasan GB dapat surat pekeliling tidak boleh sambut majlis pada waktu P&P...klu ikut GB memang xbuat terus...tp penyelia petang kautim supaya majlis tu dibuat selama setengah jam..terkedu aku tgk ustazah yg jd penyelaras acara untuk esok tu...dia terus tanya kat aku "Amy rasa zalim tak dia buat macam ni...ini maulidurrasul ni...nak sambut hari jadi nabi...dia sekat2 samapai bg masa setengah jam je...then ada seorang guru India mencelah..."do you know dia nak buat mesyuarat PIBG pada hari Ahad 8.00-12 tgh hari...It's the time we go to the church....I already explain to her...and she knows christians go to church that day...but she insist to the the meting on that day...klu xmahu dtg...dia suro sign surat tunjuk sebab...what kind of tyranny is this??? imagine kalau I jd GB I cakap dekat cikgu lelaki islam...you jgn pergi sembahyang jumaat...you pergi meeting...kalau x i suruh bg you sign surat tunjuk sebab...mesti you all semua dah mengamuk masuk paper kan...."....this is real??? so you be the judge...klu selama ni aku memang kutuk dia maybe la sebab aku ni bukan pekerja yg bagus...or banyak songeh...tp kalau dah masuk bab agama macam ni...pe citer?

sangat suka handbag...

Teringinnye nak beli handbag mahal2....tp klu duit gaji dah abis ke handbag...nnt xbley lak nk beli mende lain...hai...inilah dilema perempuan bernafsu dgn handbag....baru aku paham perasaan seorang cikgu yg dah berkeluarga bile die tgk aku asik tukar handbag...tp cap cokia je la...level gaji aku stakat mampu beli carlo rino dgn Elle je...Guess pun beli time sale...baru mampu..klu lg atas dari tu..telan air liur je la...unless klu laki kau kaya bagak...bley la jolok poket die...kalau dapat laki same level...pastu ade anak anak ag...terpaksa pendamkan je...keperluan anak anak lebih penting....aku yg single ni pun dah duk berkira...apetah ag diorg....bapak aku pun dh sound...duk umah jgn nk makan pree je....mak aku je yg baik....itupun malu la nk pau...mak dh xkeje...
Kalau diikutkan boleh je aku beli coach ke salvator ferragamo ke Tous ke....tapi pastu....aku duk umah makan maggi je la....pastu jalan kaki g sekolah...sebab duit minyak dah lari kt handbag....
mesti de org kate mendelah minat hndbag...tp diorg pun de mende yg diorg minat....contohnye...diorg sanggup beli overpriced iphone dgn ipad just to show off kt org....kunun hipster la sgt...moden la sgt sebab pakai smartphone...pastu kutuk hanset cokia aku...ade aku kisah..hahaha...Adik aku de cakap dgn ari tu suro share duit belikan mak aku galaxy tab....aku tetiba dok teringat sorang aunty yg aku jumpe mase tgh makan kat restaurant...bawak ipad...pastu die dgn kawan2 senamrobik die duk gelak kuk kik kuk kik...tgk youtube....pastu aku bygkan mak aku dgn mak cik2 aku yg berkumpul tgk youtube tu...fuhhhh....seb baik mak aku xnk...lap top die yg sedia ada ni pun cuma jd fb machine....klu beli galaxy tab....jd youtube machine lak kang...
alalala....dh melalut lak aku....patah balik psl cerita handbag...igt dah kerja....bley la beli segala handbag yg aku ske...rupe2nye...aku jd makin cheapskate....lg takut nk beli....woooo......betul la org kate....belanjakan duit yg kite xcari sendri adalah...the best in the world....

imperfection is me...

So i made you mad with my words
I'm sorry but imperfection is me
So you think I'm bitchy
I'm sorry but imperfection is me
So somehow you get your butt hurt because of what I said
I'm sorry but imperfection is me
So I annoy you with all the nonsense I bring to the table
I'm sorry but imperfection is me
So i may look like an idiot bimbo to you
I'm sorry but imperfection is me

Everyday...we think we know better
Everyday...we think we are the better judge when things happened
Everyday...we think the rest of population are simply morons
Everyday...we think some people are attention whore
Every freaking day....we think these losers need a life

Little did we know...
Imperfection is everyone's privilege....
The hardest things in life is to be nice
towards the people you don't give a damn about...
So be nice to me...and everybody
though it's like letting the needle poking your butt..
and maybe i'll be nice towards the people like me...
and the world will be a greater place for everyone
and the hope for mankind  will still exist

Masalah jiwa kronik?

Neh dah masuk kali keberapa aku mimpi dia neh...ape neh otak??? jgn lah dok wat mende bukan2...kang elok2 xde ape....aku lak yg perasan.......mebi aku ase comfortable dgn die coz die mmg type yg aku suke.....stock suke duk umah...suke masak, pandai mengemas umah, senang nak bawak shopping...bley bergumbira2...x berlagak macho...tp die sangat kuat pegangan diri woo..mcm xde harapan je aku nak control die..and sangat garang......seriously aku takut klu nk tgk die marah.....agak terancam jugak le....aku jarang kena marah dgn lelaki kan...hahaha...pasal tu la diorg blah kot....sebab asek memendam rasa....
Aku dah melebihi suku abad...malas dah nak fikir psl feeling2 nih.....so kepala otak....please jadi waras....don't ruin your friendship dgn mende yg bukan2......jgn bg aku masalah jiwa pulak.....banyak mende lain aku boleh fikir.....elok2 aku ok je....kang pasal mende mcm neh, aku pulak yg melebih2 pikir bukan2...sedangkan orang tu xde ape pun......

resolusi 2012 (mintak2 la dapat)

1.Mahu kurus
2.Mahu kumpul duit banyak-banyak
3.Mahu sambung master
4.Mahu beli rumah
5.Mahu cari pakwe untuk dibuat suami satu hari nnt
6.Mahu belajar pakai tudung lawa2 supaya xnmpk mcm makcik n considering pakai tudung full time....
7.Mahu mengajar dengan lebih bagus
8.Mahu kurangkan stalking orang
9.Mahu jd lagi best
10. Mahu jadi budak baik (damn reprhase perempuan yang lebih elok perangainya....)
11.Mahu buat umrah.....

it takes more than that......

aku dpt sms dari nombor yg xde dlm senarai contact aku...lama aku fikir coz the number seems familiar....the sms is simple...a selamat hari raya wish and a smiley face....n suddenly i feel sick, feels my chest getting cold n makes me want to vomit.....how dare he??????a year has gone by....he left....n just disappear.....an act of a real man.....n he has guts to text me now with d smiley face.....as if that smiley face could make things right...as if that smiley face would wash away my heart ache....as if that smiley face will help mending my broken self....
I used to wish that he will come around n grow up.....my god...we have lived for more than quarter century....he should have known better how to make things ok.....the adult way.....pretending everything is alright after a year of disappearance is not cool....sending a cowardly sms with a smiley face can't erase the fact that i'm too disappointed with him....
he's too weak to even settle the score, too weak to tell the truth, to weak to even stand up for himself.....n i feel angry.....he should know better....he suppose to stay invisible if he still think like a child....my love has withered n my respect is gone....n i wonder WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING??????
it ruins my day 100%.....even when a boy i know said i'm still hot despite the fact that i'm gaining weight.....can't help make me happy....thanks for letting me know i could never count on you for everything....including apologizing like a man......

The gray area in relationship...(the ugly side of me)

kadang2 rasa frustrated bila orang asik mempertikaikan hubungan aku dengan mana-mana orang....why does things have to be black and white?...kenapa aku xbley backing orang yg aku xsuka? kenapa aku xbley kawan dgn lelaki yg ade awek? kenapa aku mesti buat baik dgn kawan aku sepanjang masa? hahahahaha.....
Aku suka buat prank.....itu satu perangai yg memang xbley nk buang......so kadang2 prank aku sgt jahat dan nmpk seperti aku melakukan pembulian....so sorry ida n aesha....korang adalah mangsa tegar aku......walaupun aku suka diorg...tp part diorg yg annoying tu mmg jd element penting untuk aku bahan diorg.....but it's part n parcel in friendship.....klu xde ejek2 mmg xsah la....contohnye aishah dgn izzah suka bertekak depan public....hahaha....n people say it's childish....but that's friendship....plus hanna and jahwati dgn ayat2 makan dalam tahap super saiya yg aku sendri xbley achieve level nye.....i should be offended n despise them for lashing me right in front of my face.....but they are being themselves...n everybody knows what they say is the ugly truth....n i miss ayat makan dalam jahwati so much now...coz she's like my other tongue....n aku rindu ida coz i'm so freaking miss hugging her.....n i miss it when she plays with my hair....n my hair is my kryptonite.....not all people can touch it..... I only allow three of my acquaintances to touch my hair....(my exes doesn't count in this equation)....2 of them are male...and Ida.....if you get to touch my hair...that means i grow fond of you n i will act like a child in front of you.....there are three persons that no matter how hard i try to be adult in front of them...it won't work.....i switch to being a kid.....n for those two male acquaintances.....i love them as much as i love my big brother if I ever have one....mcm cerita animation disney brother bear...itulah feeling aku kat diorg....n for ida...seriously aku jeles n menyampah dgn laki die...coz aku rase die mcm merampas ida dari aku....hahahahaha.....sort of like siblings rivalry nk attention dari mak......
n aku suka mamas sebab aku suka die....sometimes dia delusional...but aku pun same gak.....n shikin n fatiha n shida.....so what klu pernah bergaduh n back stab each other...at least aku pernah suka diorg n aku masih suka diorg....aku suka fatiha buat lawak sadis, aku suka kacau shida...aku suka bila shikin bukak cerita gosip....sungguh resourceful...until aku kena batang hidung sendri...but that's friendship rite...klu elok je all the time.....you must be faking it.....totally faking it......
N salahke kalau aku kawan dgn budak lelaki....aku anggap kawan lelaki aku mcm adik beradik sendri...aku xpernah fikir buruk pasal mereka...tp bila mereka sudah ada awek....aku pulak rasa tension bila awek mereka fikir yg bukan2....n i wonder...kalau aku mahu sgt dgn bf kamu....aku sudah ngorat dari dulu bah....before u get into the picture...n why so serious?????? aku xmahu dia....sebab itu aku kawan saja sama dia....if I really ade hati sama mereka...i would tell them straight on the face...jom couple....aku xmain la mende2 bullshit seperti teman tp mesra neh.....or mengacau bf orang coz aku syok kt mereka.....xkuasa...xde kellasssss la klu aku wat gitu....klu betul aku syok kt milik org lain...dgn segala hormat dan penuh jati diri nye aku blah dari muka mamat tu....x sudi ok.....ego aku lebih tinggi....
damn....aku bukan player pun...out of five relationships...2 kali aku kena dump, sekali pakwe aku curang...so do the math...either aku memang xbest...or aku mmg awek yg hampeh....so issue aku flirt dgn lelaki2 mcm mustahil kedengaran......i'm not some freaking mindless bimbo who would go out just with anybody.......I'm a snob....I'm hateful.....boys avoid me...n it suits me just fine...
Coz aku sgt jahat dgn lelaki yg aku xminat...ko sms aku...aku delete...ko pm aku kt ym, aku remove.....ko nk chat dgn aku kt fb....aku offline kan diri aku....ko call....jgn harap aku angkat....n i won't even bother to comment your status on fb.....or klu ko jumpe aku dpn2 pun aku akan cakap aku busy...so xde mase nk borak....n plus klu ko seorg yg poyo gile babi n ade masalah inferiority complex..n bercakap tentang bende2 emo dgn aku..i will tell you straight on the face "ye...aku x suke ko sebab ko xbest, xensem,xkaye, n xde degree, xde master, xde phd, xde kereta, gaji kecik.....i could go on forever...so don't ever try to patronize me with your silly defensive acts....
but.....sebab aku buat bende2 macam nih la....memjadikan aku lebih yakin yg aku xkan gatal2 nk ngorat budak lelaki...hohoho....even though aku mungkin ade crush dekat dia......but i don't dare to try....biasela...buat baik di balas baik, buat jahat di balas jahat....bt one thing for sure....i won't fake things to make you feel better.....so hate me...despise me....mak ok jer....
n aku paling xsuka bile org kate kt aku "ko bukan xsuke ke minah tu...nape ko backing die pulak?"...perlukah aku meletakkan emosi pada benda yg xde kene mengena dgn emosi......ia seperti menyuruh aku jgn kesiankan nora danish yg diceraikan sewaktu tgh mengandung...whatever personal feud aku ada dgn seseorg tu...xbermaksud aku akan menghentam dia dari semua sudut...sedangkan kawan aku sendri kadang2 tikam au dari belakang...so my enemy would do otherwise...they are not that bad all the time...walaupun aku menyampah dgn cik M tentang pembawaan karakter berlagak mangsa dia...but I have to respect the fact...die  xdela kurang ajar sgt dgn aku pun....or bila org kutuk another miss M about things yg outrageous...aku pun rage jugak....coz i don't think she should be treated that way....especially the remarks comes from someone yg lebih kurang je dgn die....sgt tak tgk muka kt cermin ok.....
That's why aku rasa dlm relationship banyak gray area...relationship xde kena mengena dgn lelaki atau perempuan, betul atau salah, kawan atau lawan.....it consists of everything.... not just this and that....