Although it's hard to admit, but my greatest regret is about repressing my true feeling when i should just be honest....now I don't have a chance to even do that.. after telling so many lies to myself that things always get better the next time, I will become more level headed, more optimist in my view...I will improve...things would change somehow,I come to the point that I have to accept the fact...things would never change.
There are always the time that you reached the peak of suicidal, when you just think life has no meaning any more, when you lose someone whom is so dear to you... and going on is something you refuse to do... but life is like the river flowing, no matter how much you struggle to go against it, you'll get tired eventually and just go with the flow...life isn't a bed of roses...but will death promise us something better?
I've wrote about this before, that I probably won't live long enough to enjoy my retirement...but I'm not a God to decide on something like that...and they say bad people live longer...so considering I'm no angel myself, I probably live long enough to see myself become the villain...
I've been wanting so bad that I would do anything to make it happen, but you won't always get what you want. Sometimes you have to learn to let go. Sometimes it is important that our happiness is short lived, rather than it slowly become something boring, something hurtful and full of hatred...
Knowing myself better than anyone, I know I will be good at the surviving department...I might go crazy and act like a bitch...but I will be a strong bitch....the smart ass bitch, that always have a clever retort over any remark given to me.
The most important thing, treat your loved one better. Your family, your friends or your partner. I lost that chance before and I'm not so keen to have any more experience dealing with the grief of what if...
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