tepuk dahi aku...

Aku saiko...adekah aku judgmental????...hahaha...there is one man who seems to be an avid supporter of Tun M, often talks about political stuff and he's quite influential himself..not the type kedai kopi punye debaters....he analyze things n look from both side of the views...since he is a Muslim himself, he always give view that favor the Muslim religion but in the right and reasonable way....aku sgt admire die...but lately aku tergerak nk tgk profile die...bile aku check relationship status die kt FB...married to jantan non muslim.....aku rase tertipu dan nak tampar die laju2...jantung aku bagaikan berkecai2..how dare he talk about abiding constitution and Muslim right....when you openly claim yourself as GAY......kenape? kenape? kenape? aku asyik syok kt org cenggini....nape taste aku selalu cenggini...kenape aku suke lelaki yang lemah lembut dan sopan santun...yang jambu....klu x anak mak, mesti gay....aku fed up.....

why kind of lemonade should I make?

Upon reading Neil Gaiman graduation speech...it makes me thinking....when life put me down...how do i make an art out of it....been talking to a friend recently about how she commit her pain of her broken heart to write a novel...it occur to me that, one can really benefit from his unhappiness if he can utilize his strength..... heart broken, make a novel, feeling sad that you can't move on, create a song, depression, paint, giving up living in the real world, draw a manga, unsatisfied with the current work, be a professional gamer, don't feel glamorous enough, start cam whoring like a model so that you will be noticed as the up to date fashionable vintage hipster icon in town ....
Life is full of opportunities that being average makes me feel left out. Because I'm not a genius in what i do, i consider every aspect of arts that i'm interested at, the result makes me feel like a bimbo with no purpose of living:

1. I can draw very nicely, but the creative department hasn't been installed with the package, i can't even draw the same image twice....so i should forget about drawing a manga as an outlet.
2. I can write just fine although making typos for me is just like eating the popcorn..but then again...my lack of imagination and my inconsistencies doesn't help much in creative writing..I'm a dry and boring person whose drama can't even inspire myself...
3. Although I like clothing and have quite a pleasant face, but my body betrayed me since i hit puberty, i stop growing vertically...my boobs expanding like nobody's business...and now most of my clothes don't agree with me anymore...so there is no way i could be a fashion consultant....coz i can't even have a chic image myself...how can i advise other people what to wear...
4. The last time I play a guitar, I was 15...lately I've been trying to find the tune again...practicing with my little brother...and i realize...i no longer feel passionate about it...even positioning the fingers from one note to another seems tedious and laborious....so music making is opt out of the list....
5. I love to play WOW but without using the cheat code...there is not much chance that i could survive as the real gamer..plus i have no interest in playing Diablo or Assasin Creed or LOL...frankly the reason I play WOW is because back then, I was working at the game shop in KLCC...and it's a must for us to know the kind of game that we sell and how to play it....so play a bit of Battlefield, Hitman, Code of Honour and even Ragnarok...so back then...i manage to play different platform such as PSP, DS, XBOX, SP, PS2 and PC for free...kinda miss working there despite the long hour and the lack of sleep...but the pay is quite good...those were the days.... but now....even entering the GARENA...i always ended up cursing...the game has become too emotional and everyone is a dick....especially in my case, I'm just an average gamer who used to have my bf backing me up when going online...being by myself...i'm just an amateur bimbo...being whacked and killed and harassed most of the time...makes me feel demotivated....so now i spend most of my time playing monopoly or the chocolate factory...and sometimes checking in the maple story....

Therefore, feeling so much uninspired and lack of arts to produce....i can't help but feel like a plastic bag....(hahahaha....credit to Katy Perry) and wonder why am I not so talented at everything....being good just doesn't cut it...suddenly i feel envious...coz i dun even know why type of lemonade can I make with the lemon that I get....