Sementara aku menunggu adik aku bangun untuk hantar aku g workshop amik kereta...alang2...aku update blog....last week...aku jadi enumerators untuk suruhanjaya tenaga, kena la gi perumahan perumahan di Malaysia...untuk jalankan kaji selidik tentang pematuhan keselamatan elektrik di kalangan pengguna....dari rumah kampung ke rumah high end....semua social starta perlu dijenguk untuk dijadikan sampel....aku mmg suka buat kerja2 macam ni...walaupun agak penat coz kita boleh jumpa orang secara terus...dari situ baru kita tahu apa yg sebenarnya berlaku....Aku dah pergi 4 kawasan perumah flat...dua di Shah Alam, satu di Damansara dan satu di Petaling Jaya...di Shah Alam...majoriti penduduknya bagus. Persekitaran rumah bersih, sampah xbanyak kelihatan, bila interview....even surirumah pun peka tentang keselamatan elektrik...memang wajar surirumah yg patut tahu...sebab banyak masalah kecemasan elektrik berlaku di rumah dan culpritnya kanak-kanak...maintainance soal ke dua...aku memang puji attitude diorg...kebersihan diorg dan kepekaan diorg....but things are different dekat dua tempat yg lain...Flora Damansara...bunyinya gah....tetapi, bila tengok dari atas ke bawah...pampers bertaburan...sampah2 diletakkan di depan rumah dan sangat berbau...aku sebagai penghuni rumah flat sendri...yg rasa penduduk tempat aku pun kadang2 macam xg sekolah pun tiba2 rasa bersyukur....belum masuk kes terserempak dgn mat2 gian..respond yg aku dapat pun pelik2.....so memang agak scary la experience aku sewaktu wat kajiselidik kat flora damansara...di flat taman dato harun pula...suasana agak gelap...kebersihan agak memuaskan, penduduk pun responsive...tetapi surirumahnya, dari segi pengetahuan agak terkebelakang...alasan yg diberi..."akak ni duk rumah je dik...ape pun tau"...hati aku bagai kena tumbuk, aku xboleh kalau orang perempuan dalam era millenium bg ayat mcm zaman 60 an punye...11 tahun ko mendapat pendidikan formal di Malaysia...unless kalau ko kawin awal n berhenti sekolah....so ayat "saya xtau apa2 tu...amat mencarik2 jantung feminisme aku....di saat perempuan di negara lain bertarung nyawa utk mendapatkan hak utk equal education....ko dgn rela hati melepaskan hak untuk mengambil tahu kerana ko surirumah..."
Kajiselidik di Kondo...lebih senang dapat respond...aku g Acapella dan Bayu Puteri...most of them sangat ramah...tp ade jugak yg condemn xhengat...mula2 aku seram juga...coz aku de perception residence dekat kondo ni agak individualistic dan materialistic...but kalau kite approach diorg dengan cara yg berhemah...diorg memang xde masalah berikan kerjasama...The same goes bila pergi taman perumahan...and rumah2 kampung....bila pergi ke Kampung Melayu Subang...pakcik2 di sana...yg sudah bersara memang knowledgable dan sangat responsive....banyak yg bagi cadangan yang membina....aku de gak sempat interview beberapa orang OKU....banyak yg diorg tahu pasal akta dan keselamatan elektrik...kelainan upaya x menghalang diorg untuk belajar...do aku yg sempurna sifat ni pun malu2 dgn diorg...
Aku disappointed sikit bile interview student U or kolej...aku sempat Interview budak UITM n MSU...hmm...banyak yg diorg xtau...or xmahu ambil tahu...respond pun kureng...tp xsemua....ada gak student yg bagus dan prihatin....terpulang kepada individu masing2....so aku sgt happy buat research macam ni....walaupun penat...n orang pun takut2...yelah sekarang ni orang nk menipu macam2 gaya...tp lepas dah diberi penerangan...pak guard pun sgt helpful siap bawak kitorg dari rumah ke rumah...management perumahan pun bg kerjasama....semua pun berjalan dengan lancar...and aku sendiri dapat belajar banyak perkara tentang rakyat Malaysia...contoh di Bayu Puteri...dalam 20 respondent aku....semua pun cakap management buat wiring dengan bagus...tapi ade satu uncle...complaint pasal rumahnya selalu overload...bila aku tanye power source nye 3 phase or single phase...dia xdpt bg jawapan...bila aku bg penerangan kt dia klu power source single phase maknanye kita tak boleh guna letrik berlebihan...sebab nanti overload...seterika, laptop, air cond, microwave and dapur elektrik tak boleh diguna kan serentak or share power source yg sama....sebab tu fius selalu tendang....klu pasang 3 phase pun tp kalau guna aircond 3 4 serentak, pasang lap top byk2,using macam kedai punya usage....pun fius tendang juga...bila aku explain gitu...uncle tu slow sikit.... the same mase aku g kt taman perumahan dato harun...de pakcik marah2...kononnya bil TNB rumah dia sampai rm200 sebulan...terdetik hati aku...aku kt rumah de 4 orang, pagi2 guna heater utk mandi, seterika, laptop, washing machine, peti ais, kipas, tv memang selalu gune...tp bil tiap2 bulan xpernah ag cecah rm40...so aku tanye pakcik tu...pakcik pasang aircond berapa banyak ye...dengan pantas die menjawab..."3 biji je...."....hmmm...padan la...aku cakap dalam hati je...nak cakap lebih...dia pun dah berumur....
Tapi dengan respond2 yg aku dapat,aku dapat belajar banyak perkara...contoh nya,1. rakyat tahu hak untuk membuat aduan...tp xambil tahu, 2. Rakyat tak tahu apa2, dan xmahu ambil tahu 3. Rakyat yang memang ambil tahu, dan gunakan hak untuk membuat aduan....so sedikit sebanyak, aku dapat rasakan susah pembuat dasar...nak berfikir...macam mana nak mendidik orang ramai, macam mana nak buat dasar yg xmembeban orang ramai....sebab aku sendri yg jadi macai di bawah ni pun...mengeluh juga bila nak berdepan dengan rakyat...tp ada baik nya pembuat dasar sendiri ambil masa turun padang, selami hati rakyat...fahami masalah mereka...sebelum keluarkan sesuatu dasar...research je xcukup...sentuhan personal tu penting, sentimen tu penting...aku sendri rase sgt rendah diri dan humble...sebab bila duduk dengan penduduk2 ni...cerita pasal elektrik, pengalaman diorg, beban diorg....tp xboleh nak buat ape2.....ape yg aku boleh buat adalah sebarkan no hotline Suruhanjaya Tenaga kepada semua respondent yg aku interview, supaya diorg pulak boleh sebarkan kat kenalan diorg....
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
bad breath....
I wake up with the constant stabbing pain at my upper right jaw from the front to the back. My throat is sore. My nostril feel itchy. It's not pleasant. I've been suffering the same thing after the infection. It keeps getting worse. And my breath stink.
At first, I thought it's because of my teeth. But I'm the diligent type. I brush my teeth, I floss. I use mouthwash. I go to dentist for scaling and filling. I polish my teeth. The dentist says that my teeth are clean. The problem it's not my teeth.
One day, my jaw hurt really bad that I felt like pulling off all my teeth at once. I straightaway went to the dentist. The dentist said, it's not my teeth that caused the pain. He pressed my upper cheek and my forehead. It was painful. The dentist referred me to ENT at PPUM. The doctor said I have sinus infection. I was given antibiotic and some medicine to control it. She said, the infection gave me the bad breath.
I thought after a dosage of antibiotic. things would get better. But the doc said. The infection at the sinus area takes time to recover. because our sinus cavity is always wet, plus I have a sensitive nose and allergies that will keep producing the mucus.The living place of the culprit. So therefore although I take the antibiotic, the bacteria will not be ridden so easily. Most of the time. It develops immunity. I took the medicine to dry up my mucus. But the dosage is quite heavy back then, it caused me to feel sleepy and dizzy most of the time. but later, I got used to it. But after 2 years. it doesn't make a different. I've been through numbers of antibiotics with variation of dosage from Augmentine to avelox to Zinmat. Avelox caused me depression and tremor as the side effect and Augmentin made me bleed. But dosage after dosage. The problem still remain.
Every time I wake up, the pain exist and the taste that lingers in my mouth is bitter. I can't help it that my nose is sensitive. we are talking about Malaysia where the spores are everywhere. The food we ate has toxin too. When it comes to the food I eat,i'm allergic to belacan, keropok lekor, prawn, squid, crab, budu, cincaluk, cili api, dried shrimp.....these are the basic ingredient in Malaysia dishes.....that's why i prefer to eat western food...When it comes to the air I breath, the haze, the pollen, the spores, the unknown metal particles, the heavy chemical particles triggers my allergic reaction..it' produces more mucus and it makes my whole skin itchy..I'm constantly dependent on antihistamine to contain it. But in the long run, it caused my nose to become more sensitive than ever.
As the last resort, the doc suggested operation. I went along with the plan. Anything that make me better. I'm on it. The operation did work temporarily. I am no longer coughing like mad. I used to cough endlessly because of the mucus. I no longer have runny nose that block my nostril. But the problem with the bad breath comes after 2 or 3 weeks...after the bacteria manage to overcome the antibiotic. So the doctor decided, no more antibiotic. The doc said, there's a possibility...the bacteria were immune with antibiotic. The doc stop all the medication. So at the moment, I'm on the medication detox. I take no pill, except for the antihistamine and drink lots of orange juice.
But i have to see people, interact with people. People are judgmental, they are the creature of judgement. I can't go around telling people my sad story to each of them and hope they will understand. When I am with the kids, they often ask, and I explain to them. No, my teeth is not rotten. It's my nose. Sooner or later, they get over it. But, it's a different story with adult. adults are not so accepting as the kids. They don't try to understand, they avoid it.
I don't want to make people be uncomfortable around me. I feel uncomfortable too. It's my fucking breath. It's my life, my job. It caused me to have inferiority complex. Every time I see people, I try not to be paranoid. They judge. Because if i were in their position. I would judge too. That's why I don't want to hang out in the big crowd, I don't want to know someone new. Who doesn't have any idea about my problem. It's kind of hard to interact. I try to distance myself from people. But in reality, I can't.
My mom keep insisting that I have to get married any sooner. but with the condition I have. There's no way I'm going to embarrass myself out there and be judged by the guy I met. No freaking way. I don't know when will this problem of mine will be cured. And I don't want to make people understand and symphatize with me. I just want them to leave me alone until I'm able to cure it.
At first, I thought it's because of my teeth. But I'm the diligent type. I brush my teeth, I floss. I use mouthwash. I go to dentist for scaling and filling. I polish my teeth. The dentist says that my teeth are clean. The problem it's not my teeth.
One day, my jaw hurt really bad that I felt like pulling off all my teeth at once. I straightaway went to the dentist. The dentist said, it's not my teeth that caused the pain. He pressed my upper cheek and my forehead. It was painful. The dentist referred me to ENT at PPUM. The doctor said I have sinus infection. I was given antibiotic and some medicine to control it. She said, the infection gave me the bad breath.
I thought after a dosage of antibiotic. things would get better. But the doc said. The infection at the sinus area takes time to recover. because our sinus cavity is always wet, plus I have a sensitive nose and allergies that will keep producing the mucus.The living place of the culprit. So therefore although I take the antibiotic, the bacteria will not be ridden so easily. Most of the time. It develops immunity. I took the medicine to dry up my mucus. But the dosage is quite heavy back then, it caused me to feel sleepy and dizzy most of the time. but later, I got used to it. But after 2 years. it doesn't make a different. I've been through numbers of antibiotics with variation of dosage from Augmentine to avelox to Zinmat. Avelox caused me depression and tremor as the side effect and Augmentin made me bleed. But dosage after dosage. The problem still remain.
Every time I wake up, the pain exist and the taste that lingers in my mouth is bitter. I can't help it that my nose is sensitive. we are talking about Malaysia where the spores are everywhere. The food we ate has toxin too. When it comes to the food I eat,i'm allergic to belacan, keropok lekor, prawn, squid, crab, budu, cincaluk, cili api, dried shrimp.....these are the basic ingredient in Malaysia dishes.....that's why i prefer to eat western food...When it comes to the air I breath, the haze, the pollen, the spores, the unknown metal particles, the heavy chemical particles triggers my allergic reaction..it' produces more mucus and it makes my whole skin itchy..I'm constantly dependent on antihistamine to contain it. But in the long run, it caused my nose to become more sensitive than ever.
As the last resort, the doc suggested operation. I went along with the plan. Anything that make me better. I'm on it. The operation did work temporarily. I am no longer coughing like mad. I used to cough endlessly because of the mucus. I no longer have runny nose that block my nostril. But the problem with the bad breath comes after 2 or 3 weeks...after the bacteria manage to overcome the antibiotic. So the doctor decided, no more antibiotic. The doc said, there's a possibility...the bacteria were immune with antibiotic. The doc stop all the medication. So at the moment, I'm on the medication detox. I take no pill, except for the antihistamine and drink lots of orange juice.
But i have to see people, interact with people. People are judgmental, they are the creature of judgement. I can't go around telling people my sad story to each of them and hope they will understand. When I am with the kids, they often ask, and I explain to them. No, my teeth is not rotten. It's my nose. Sooner or later, they get over it. But, it's a different story with adult. adults are not so accepting as the kids. They don't try to understand, they avoid it.
I don't want to make people be uncomfortable around me. I feel uncomfortable too. It's my fucking breath. It's my life, my job. It caused me to have inferiority complex. Every time I see people, I try not to be paranoid. They judge. Because if i were in their position. I would judge too. That's why I don't want to hang out in the big crowd, I don't want to know someone new. Who doesn't have any idea about my problem. It's kind of hard to interact. I try to distance myself from people. But in reality, I can't.
My mom keep insisting that I have to get married any sooner. but with the condition I have. There's no way I'm going to embarrass myself out there and be judged by the guy I met. No freaking way. I don't know when will this problem of mine will be cured. And I don't want to make people understand and symphatize with me. I just want them to leave me alone until I'm able to cure it.
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