lonely?

tahun ni aku dah bela 4 ekor anak kucing....n aku dh gi gym....so agak busy la life aku...but seriously...something is missing....kawan2 aku ade...but you know sometimes ade benda yg aku xbley share dgn diorg....n suddenly aku ase rindu sgt dgn benda2 trivial yg aku buat dgn ex-bfs aku dulu....
well aku selalu akan cari org yg sekepala mcm aku...suka komik, suka main game, suka layan movie, suka rock band....i miss the moment yang aku bley share bace komik dgn org lain.....tukar2 komik...predicting what will happen next...even bace detective conan n guess who the killer is can turn out to be fun....n bile aku main game...klu aku xbley lepas stage yg aku nak...aku bley cari diorg utk tlg aku lepaskan stage...kalau dua2 same level je...cari cheat code la...pe lagi.....
n g tgk wyg citer saiko2....lately klu aku g movie dgn member aku selalu pilih cerita yg lawak je...coz aku xnk rase sedih...ayat macam nak makan penampar je. kadang2 je aku tgk cerita serious dgn member, itupun klu betul dah xde cerita lain. when it comes to movie, the nerdy side of me coming out....aku selalu think about the plot too hard...n i keep questioning things...so sebab aku xnk member aku rase annoyed....aku pilih cerita ringan2 yang senang faham. n let's say klu aku tgk cerita ironman....sorry to say...the adrenaline drive tgk dgn member aku sgt slow....coz diorg mane minat ironman tu...so aku nk bercerita kt diorg psl character or plot pun xde mood.....tu blom aku ajak tgk cerita stephen king.....yep i have a thing for eccentric guys....i don't mind weird actually...aku lagi prefer quirky dari skema tahap gaban....
N part yg paling best bile memekak dalam kereta layan lagu2 rock.....bukak lagu kuat2...pastu nyanyi sama2...nyanyi lagu radiohead ke, oasis, coldplay....blur....(i have a thing for brit rock)....damn....ingat balik rase nak nangis....
n to think dat the love is gone just like that...rase sgt crappy kot....napela kita selalu tamak n rasa xcukup...when in the end...benda2 simple macam ni lah yg terlekat kat hati.....
Kalau boleh, aku nak sangat life yg aku xpayah berfikir panjang....relationship aku hancur pun semua disebabkan overly ambitious....we think too much...n we are scared of the future....or what other people say sebab masih xgrow up.
some people nak rumah besar, kereta besar, gaji besar, suami kaya, nak anak2.....nak ada reputasi, nk dipandang tinggi, nak pangkat, automatically aku pun dah terbrainwash dgn benda mcm tu...but when i think back....i really don't need all those things....i just want to be me....the childish me....aku yg suka baca komik, aku yg suka tgk movie byk2 kali, aku yg suka buat prank.....i don't feel the need to be an adult yet. i want to play, i want to be happy and have lots of fun....well some of my friends have settled down, some has grown up, some has high expectations, but seriously all i need is a playful person who stays with me, thinks like me, love me, adore me, talk about stupid things, fighting with me about who should use the toilet first, eat up my leftover meals......commitment can come later when we are both ready..... i don't need a mature man...i just need a normal healthy playful adult.......but life sucks....n people must have expectations.....