What da heck....ilang respect aku kt minah ni...

Sebelum ni, aku sgt respect dgn minah ni. Well, since aku mule2 de Fb, memang aku purposely add die, nizam zakaria and imran ajmain coz tiga2 ni, memang aktif menulis dekat FB notes....dulu xde FB subscribe mcm skang ni, xde fan page pun....so klu nk get in touch...memang kene add direct....but then time tu mereka bertiga tidak sepopular sekarang....coz time tu baru naik...and ideas diorg...penulisan diorg, mmg aku minat....but then things change, Imran ajmain bukak fan page kt FB..and dieactivate fb die.n die pun dah  xmenulis di fb notes ag...nizam lak, pas jd director pun.pun same..sudah jarang sgt menulis...so aku pun hilang interest...and minah ni pulak...buat lirik lagu memang best gile...dulu selalu la die post puisi or cerita2 yg best...so walaupun aku xfollow lagi Imran ajmain dgn nizam zakaria...aku masih follow minah ni...
but things change...dulu die xlawa sekarang...kirenye humble and down to earth...nak post gambar sendri kt fb pun susah....tp sejak dah glemer...dan bergaul dgn nyah2 ni...memang dah pandai melawa dan camwhoring...aku respectla dgn perubahan die...dari xlawa mane jd lawa...aku xkisah pun die post gambar sexy...itu hak die...tp sejak akhir2 ni, die byk update status byk citer pasal die xsuke pasal laki ajak die tidur la, nk bayar die la, bla bla bla...lelaki miang la...and die kecik hati bile de rakan artis tanye die menjual ke.....sentap dowh...hmmm...aku faham perasaan die...laki memang gatal...dah dapat tgk free, mesti nk try rase free pulak...hang pakai sexy giler...hang xbley la nak expect laki xde mata...aku pun benci laki pandang2 aku macam nak telan..tp dari aku buang masa ceramah kt laki yg memang otak letak kt anu tentang mereka perlu mengawal nafsu serakah mereka...baik aku pakai baju sopan2 sket....hak tuih...jantan ni...klu ko pakai jubah labuh satu badan pun diorg sangap....but then, utk keselesaan sendri...terpulanglah pade yg tuan punya badan....
aku pun dh xde hati nk follow die sgt coz, asik2 letak gambar tayang badan, tayang lurah, tayang peha...well, aku ni pun bukannye baik sgt...de je gambar aku yg sexy....but then xde la aku camwhore hari2 depan kamera wat photo update lak pakai baju tido, pakai skirt pendek, pakai baju nampak lurah....kalau aku buat confirm pastu dapat private msg byk 2 dari lelaki durjana...dan penerajang dari mak aku sekali....
Oleh kerana aku skang ni asik mengadap FB, so aku terperasan small details yg aku jarang nk amik peduli sebelum ni, part recommended page....recommended page ni ade lah page nk friends ko kt fb like...so fb akan cadangkan kat ko utk like juge...aku bukak le recommended page ni....Alhamdulillah...semua pun yg elok2...hohoho...mane2 kwn fb aku yg macam haram perangainye...terutama lelaki durjana...walaupun kawan sendri memang aku delete mentah2....so aku tau kawan2 fb aku sopan2 orang nye....sampai la ke satu page ni....KL ESCORT...wat the heck????? siapakah sang durjana yg pergi meng "like" KL ESCORT ni...aku pun...dgn busybodynyer...g la menyiasat siapakah sang durjana itu...well, when it comes to doing something not beneficial and totally waste of time...aku memang resourceful...and aku find out...org yg like KL ESCORT tu de lah minah ni....
Haloooooo....ko punye la mempertahankan diri ko yg ko xjual badan ko...yg ko sexy utk kepuasan diri...but what the heck....mujur aku bukan wartawan...or fan yg suke melihat kejatuhan orang lain...klu x, dah lame aku anta email kat Beautifulnara ke, rotikaya ke...hmmm....hilang terus dah sisa2 respect aku kt minah ni....dah le de orang kate ko sebenarnye transvestite la, khunsa la...aku tetap sokong ko...sebab lagu ko best....now that I know ko menjual...hmmm...no more...and be careful what you do on the internet...klu aku bley dapat tahu...orang lain pun bley juge....

PMR result....

Hohoho....PMR result dah kuar.....semua orang pakat2 post slip periksa adik masing2 di FB.....sambil puji-pujian bagai...ahaks...nasib baik time kite dulu...fb xde ag...well, congratz to SABians yg masih mengekalkan ranking the best sekolah harian di KL.....hahaha...teringin aku nk menganjing seseorang....yg kate begini "at least PM study kt sekolah aku, sekolah ko....setakat Yusoff Haslam jerrrrrrr...pe kellassss...." dan yg sewaktu dgn nyer....suddenly Ewwww kepada diri sendiri kerana so high school giler up sekolah sendri....but agak terkejut coz student SAB dah ramai....time kitorg dulu max 100 lebih je satu batch...itu pun kena tambah kelas...but these days....one batch can reach 300....maybe SAB dah buat expansion...or memang ramai budak pandai2 sekarang..
Tapi jeles wes, time aku dulu time amik result PMR....xde sape pun ikut...hoho...dilema ibubapa yg bekerja la katekan....dapat result terus call mak aku.."mak, I dapat 8A" and mak aku kate "ok, tahniah"and letak phone....xigt de wat celebration ke.....yelah dah lama perkara itu berlaku....and xdpt present pun....well, it's ok...coz aku belajar bukan nak dapat hadiah...but untuk kepuasan diri sendri...hahaha...ayat standard...
Tapi budak2 sekarang....xyah result PMR...dapat nombor satu time peperiksaan akhir tahun pun, dah request macam2...contoh terdekat....adik aku itu...klu xde reward, jgn harap la die nk belajar....sungguh berbeza....zaman aku dulu....xde maknenye ko nak request dapat handphone ke, dlsr kamera ke, basikal fixie ke, ps3 ke..atas kecemerlangan akademik ko..hahaha...sebab time tu mende2 nih xwujud ag.....or kalau wujud pun....sangat mahal....and it's not a necessity...so kalau dapat makan kfc...pun dah kire ok.....
but mentality sudah berubah, parents nowadays cenderung untuk membiasakan anak2 bergantung kepada material comfort...or maybe budak2 yg peer pressure.....
Kids nowadays grow up too quick, learn too fast, and what's scary...when they fall, they fall too deep....it reminds me of the Captain America quote "Big man in a suit of armour..take that off, what are you?" macam xde kene mengena kan...hahaha...well, armour tu symbolism of our material belongings...bile kita ade semua benda tu...kita rase complete...kita rasa besar, selesa...comfortable....we feel like we have everything....but then....when those armour are stripped away from us.....what's left? so i really have no idea, if we keep on feeding these type of armour to shield the kids from the harsh world....are we really do them good?
It's a challenge to raise children in this era....i don't have one yet...but i have living proofs of two in my house..so i guess i have an idea what the parents out there are going through....and xyah la buang mase bg ceramah free yg bermula dengan ayat "time kitorg dulu....." sgt mencurah air ke daun keladi...pe diorg kisah....
But then, as parents....bersederhanalah dalam memenuhi permintaan anak2.....because in life...nobody cares....and cube reverse saiko budak2....bawak g tempat orang susah, bawak diorg g jenguk rumah anak2 yatim...bawak melancong tempat2 yg bagi budak insaf sikit...well, aku cube dari semasa ke semasa bawak adik aku g tempat2 macam ni...biar die berotak sikit....teringat aku mase g wat volunteer work kat rumah anak yatim tunku budriah....bila aku bg chocolate...diorg makan kt situ juga....cepat2 habiskan...aku kate "kalau x habis...simpan dulu...nanti makan lagi" budak2 jawab "kalau x makan sekarang, dah xdpt nk makan lagi...coz senior akan selongkar locker diorg every time ade orang datang wat volunteer work and rampas barang2 yg diorg dapat....see...dekat rumah anak yatim pun de gangster ok....ko nak lari mane dah bile duduk dalam tu....mak bapak xde nk backing ko...klu report kat warden, lunyai ko kene belasah.....same goes mase aku wat program anak angkat kt besut....aku spend 2 days je dgn budak2...tp mase balik diorg de yg nangis2....rase diri dihargai kejap....coz aku xdpt duit sesen pun buat kerja nih....feeling tu xsame macam aku g mengajar kt sekolah....coz budak2 tau...aku dapat gaji ajar diorg...so pun xde lah nak hargai gile2 ape yg aku buat....coz they know I'm paid to do that...and aku pun...klu budak sudah kerek sangat...ditambah dengan parents yg what de heck..pe aku kisah nak kembalikan mereka ke jalan yg benar....janji gaji aku masuk....
owah...sudah melalut2 aku ini....baik aku juga kembali ke pangkal jalan.....sekian terima kasih....

hidup untuk diri sendiri....

Usually aku xberapa nak layan citer jiwang2 nih....supplier citer2 macam ni klu kt umah aku adelah adik aku....kepala dia agak jiwang sikit...so bile die pasang citer Istanbul aku datang kt tv....aku tengok je lah sekali.....mak aku dok melangut....sambil tanye...lambat ag ke citer ni nak abis.....maybe aku dh tua...so kegedikkan sang girlfriend sanggup mengejar sang boyfriend jauh sampai ke turki semata2 nak kawin...aku rase sangat desperado...i keep questioning...how about your life? ko xde bende ke nak achieve selain jadi bini die....apparently she is the princess type, dengan cekak rambut riben besar, kasut tinggi....and agak bimboish rather than divaish....so I ask my bro...sape script writer....as expected....Rafidah....hahaha...well i see a little glimsp of gol dan gincu and pisau cukur in this movie.....so dah bley agak....the female character mesti lembik2 and sgt girlish...anak orang kaya or so called high class punye community...but in the end akan dapat empowerment ...by being dumped first....
and that Beto guy is kaya bagak siut....bley sewa rumah kat Turkey all by himself just by being a comic illustrator...my 1st instinct would be to dump Tomok for him....who wouldn't.....as a guy....rumah die sgt kemas and well organised....and he's living alone....i never see any ordinary Malaysian bley sewa rumah sorang2 oversea....where the cost of living is high....klu setakat menyewa kat thailand ke, singapore, indonesia ke...still masuk akal....but to live in Turkey...where the cost of living is ridiculously expensive....especially to foreign people....he's damn rich...haha...digressing from the real issue....
Aku xnk kutuk cerita ni...ok jer bagi aku la....de gak scene2 yg seperti dejavu....hoho....dan yg paling aku rasa menusuk kalbu masa Beto cuci rambut lisa kt sinki....well, kalau aku rase sgt sedih dan depress...aku akan g saloon and cuci rambut....the feeling that someone membelai rambut ko...although they are paid to do that....can help reducing the stress....sebab tu la kalau budak tgh marah or sedih....kita kena belai rambut diorg....supaya diorg boleh rasa kasih sayang kita kat diorg...well, at my age...you cannot just go to your mom...and ask her to belai your hair....so although it sounds a bit disturbing...i find the replacement by getting my hair washed by the shampoo girl or the boy.....wee....now i sounds like a weirdo.....
But at that moment....i feel like I want my gay best friend...too bad..my gay friends are either too divaish, too high class that everyone seems like unclassy peasant compared to them, not talented enough, not refined enough, not urban enough....bla bla bla....well...even the straight, heterosexual friend are sometimes like that too....hahaha....perhaps i'm the one to blame...not a very good friend myself....haha...digressing again...
well, the moral of the story....dalam citer ni...carefully read the sign...before ko buat mende2 bodoh seperti di dalam cerita ini....if dari awal2 your bf cakap, die busy, jgn datang, open your eyes..quickly find the exit door...jgn tipu diri sendiri la wes...if he really loves you, he wouldn't do that..he would say over and over again that "he wishes you were there".and dia sendri akan usahakan untuk bawak ko g sana....bende nih bukan utk pompuan je...laki pun same....a male friend of mine...pun pernah kena macam ni....and ramai lagi orang kat luar yg macam ni....and in reality....after lots of time and money wasted....ko jgn expect la de org mcm beto tu....so sweet sgt....life isn't a bed of roses...so kesimpulannya...hidup untuk diri sendiri....bukan untuk orang lain.....at least klu ko frust menonggeng sekalipun....you have something to fall back on.....

how to instill nationalism (i should do the ppt presentation...but suddenly...it comes to this....)

                How to instill nationalism among the Malaysian? It’s a rhetorical question that everybody knows the answer but easy to be overlooked at some point.

                Nationalism has nothing to do with races, about privileges or about rights. Half a century, many of us still stumble and unable to grab the real essence of nationalism.

                What might sound like nationalism to the other part of ethnics might be different for the other part of the ethnics. Being a multiracial country such as Malaysia, it is easy to get misdirected from the real point.

                First of all, in order to nurture nationalism in the real picture, all races must try to live and integrate together. Not only literally but in real everyday life, just like what is stated in the concept of 1Malaysia about acceptance.

                Acceptance has nothing to do with toleration. As Malaysians we do not tolerate, instead we accept. Just like the bond of marriage, you can’t live with someone for the rest of your life simply by tolerating but accepting your partner’s strength, weaknesses and unique quality. Instead of complaining about differences, we should try to make the differences as a bridge to learn new things that gives benefit for the rest of the citizen.

                Just like the food that we ate in our everyday life. We got lots and lots and lots of delicious food that even when we go to other countries that we think much better than Malaysia politically or economically; we still crave for the food here. Even foreigners who had been here before and went back to their country, would say that they always look forward to come back here for the sake of the delicious food they tasted. It’s a true story that most of the Malaysian who migrated for a long time ended up went back and settling in Malaysia for the sake of the food. Nothing can beat the Malaysian food.

                Though it might sounds irrelevance to relate nationalism with food, it still rings a bell. Nationalism is all about love. With so many choices and variety of delicacies around us, the citizens somewhat will have the sentimental value about being a Malaysian and certainly it makes Malaysia is a country worth living in. Just like how much we enjoy eating Yong Tau Foo and loving it; we should have the same feeling towards the originator of the food and be blessed that if we are living in a mono ethnic civilization, we would not know how Yong Tau Foo tasted like. Just like we don’t know how Naan Bread, Manok Pansuh, Pecal, Satay and many more delicacies derived from different part of ethnics in our country. So next time when we eat something, please have it in our heart some love and gratefulness that Malaysia is a prosperous country where food plays an important factor to unite the people together.

                The next point is upbringing. The parents must have an open mind and leave the racism outside the door or getting rid of it at all. A child would look at the world from their parents’ perspective. The last things to teach the kids are to be judgmental and do the stereotypical labeling. Nationalism has no label. Labeling is the nastiest things to do towards other people. It is important to tell the children that if the individual acts unacceptably, it has nothing to do with their skin color or the type of their blood. Instead, they do bad things because they chose to be bad or something forces them to be bad.

                The children must be exposed to their surrounding as early as they could question things around them. It is important for them to get the fact right when they are still unaffected by differences. They must know it is okay to hug other races just like they hug one of their own. Just like it is a respectful thing to accept a food offering from their friend from other races instead of throwing it away in front of their friend. The simple gesture that we do every day will help molding the children’s mind later on. So it is important to let them understand about respect in early days of their life.

                Most Malaysian indeed loves to be a Malaysian but somewhere along the line, this country might not be pretty as it seems. There is always a dark side on everything. Injustice does happen and frustration might occur since nothing is perfect in this world. But it is not impossible to mend things though it might not be the perfect piece, it still can achieve the acceptable level. The most important thing that most Malaysian must remember is that, Malaysia is the place where we were born, where we grew up, where we received education till we can expand our potential and become somebody that can work on our own without having to depend on other people. More than 50 years had passed; we manage to govern our own country without interference from the outside. That’s the achievement that we should be proud of.

                Being a nationalist citizen also means being educated because the education is the only way to save people from humility and inferiority. Learning the history is important, but learning within the history is also very important. The true history is not only about the glory but about the reality because there is no right or wrong in life, it just differences, whether in ideology or in the way you look at things. Just like as mentioned earlier on, people do bad things not because they are evil by nature but sometimes, it’s the only way out. What looks like black to us might look like white to other people. Therefore, it is important to be educated in order to enable us to understand what is going on around us.

                 Education gives us conscience, gives us the ability to think. It allows us to be aware, to understand, to look at things at various angles and be rational and flexible. For example, the least educated might not be able to comprehend the beauty of opera and why the singer sings so weirdly. But if they learn that it is difficult to sing and control your vocal to sing and it takes a lot of effort to gain the ability to actually control your voice so that it doesn't break and ruin the piece. They too would understand and try to appreciate it.

                So instead of brainwashing people by telling them to be appreciative towards this countrymen or that legendary warriors for their effort in freeing the country from colonization and meeting their tragic end in the hands of the enemy, we should start by educating this present generation the meaning of their existence in this world which is to make the Malaysia a better place to live. Give them goal and objective to achieve and make the country proud be it in sport or academic or even business. Give them support be it motivationally and financially. So that they know what they do does matter and then, the nationalism or the love towards the country will come naturally if their needs and dream is not denied and being fulfilled. You could never bit the hands that feed you unless the hands are also abusive towards you.

                Last but not least, nationalism can only takes place when rigid thinking, blinded fanaticism and over excessive paranoia   are eradicated from this land. We must have in our heart a trust towards each other. We must stop thinking that the world is going to get us if we let our guard down. We must not think that we are so special that we deserve to get all the privilege. Being a Malay doesn’t mean we have a right to get things easily without really have to work hard for it since the government will help us anyway, Being a Chinese doesn't mean you have to be cunning in every opportunity that you get, being an Indian doesn’t mean you can whine and grunt about being oppressed by the other races but do nothing to change it, being aborigine doesn't mean you just stay the way you are and live in solitary away from the civilization.

                Nationalism is not the same old story about being obsessed towards our leaders, it is about doing something to show our love in every opportunity we have towards our country. Nationalism is not a political agenda, it is a public agenda. It unites people together and erasing the boundary between us. Nationalism can be shown in every way in our daily life. The tears of joy of singing the Negaraku song when we won the Thomas Cup or the feeling of pride when seeing the Jalur Gemilang on the top of Mount Everest or standing and gathering early in the morning to watch the procession of the parade during Independence Day or simply by eating the Briyani Gam at the mamak restaurant across the road and say “what could be greater than this, to be able to eat delicious food anywhere and every time I want, only in Malaysia.”

                Peace, love and respect. That’s all it takes for nationalism to take place.

wake up call

Last week a friend called me...and we talked for more than one hour...i let out all my negative feelings....she actually got me coz she felt the same....the difference is now i have to face it everyday...and her...once in a while....but somehow...because of my failure to actually handle the issue in adult like manner...i become a jerk....and act like everyone out there is my enemy...and shield myself away from them, my paranoia level is quite high.....
Looking back, it's really about some small issues...but they keep on piling up little by little and bite me every second...and of course people don't get it.... I've been avoiding talking about the issues although it is generally known to others because i thought it is not my problem....i never consider it my problem until it comes to me straight in the face....so one thing leads to another, had a first person view over some incidents....people are losing it....and it will be a matter of time before i follow suit too....
Unlike before, this time i can't just avoid it...my choice are either to swallow until the time bomb ticks to zero...or talk it out like an adult....either way, i will definitely lose it...this friend of mine talked about stuffs, the more i think of them, and the more i reflect everything....it really bugs me....unlike her, i don't have a privilege to stay away....sooner or later i have to deal with it....the problem is...how to be nice when doing it..
I admit i'm arrogant and a bit show off....me and my bimboness...can't be separated....but somehow, seeing others and not be judgemental is hard....when do we know that we cross the line from judging to just be rude and looking down to people because we think we are better than others?....coz sometimes i do talk shit about other people....therefore i have no right to call other person as arrogant....but certain behavior, when it's repeated often enough, wears me out....
I get a lot of reminder these days about the way I act and react to my surrounding, to say that i'm not mad....is bullshit....it is a known fact i'm not very good in the "taking advice when i don't need them" department... it's suffocating....and i do bitch to the wrong people...resulting to exhausting them with my whine when the real issues remain unsolved. and I hate myself for doing that...i wish i have the guts to just say stuff like "why don't you try to look at yourself in the mirror? i ain't perfect...and you neither...." to somebody and shake her to wake her up....but probably, it's me who still asleep....
but when your words start to hurt people who close to you, who once or still your friend because you thought you are way above them..and your way of seeing things is right and other people are either deluded or wrong....it's just so damn arrogant....friends are the last people you need to prove yourself to...coz a good friend is a friend who'll accept you for who you are...once you've cross the line and hurt them...what's left?? it's easier to make new friends, to mingle with the coolest crowd...but the fact remains, after lots of years....you want to forsake the great friendship just to fill your life with the current one..i could never fathom things like that.....things change, priorities change, it's good to live in the present...but when the friendship seems forced....and you just don't care anymore, why do you feel the need to stay and hurt others...
it reminds me of primary school friends, some of them i wouldn't mind hanging out....and being silly with while some i prefer not to see even their shadow....but to say that i favor them less than my secondary school friends or university friends is absurd...friends are friends...and you have to respect them and put them on equal value....when you feel that the friendship doesn't work, it's time to take the exit and move on....don't hurt them, just stay away...i feel hurt...but i don't care shit about small stuff, but others feel hurt too....and thinking back the way i hurt my friends...sometimes once in a while i do apologize to them..whatever disputes we have with each other, at the end of the day...it's best to apologize and move on with our life....
So, i really don't know how to put it into words...it's a wake up call for me too....I too am guilty as others...but when lots of people been complaining about it, and i got the heat of what's going on and it's burning me too..i ain't perfect and full of weaknesses .does that mean i have to keep my mouth shut and pretend it ain't my problem any longer.....when i feel an urge to slap somebody at the face so that she can see the reality...the real and not the fake reality that she claims to know a lot.....i guess we do need a wake up call...