ME, MYSELF n I

Malaysia
petite size but fierce attitude...sharp tongue but compassionate heart....manga freak...food addict...and suffered from severe inferiority complex....I think I'm ugly....

Thursday, April 29, 2010

how shitty can things be????

because of one stupid complaint letter sent to the ministry...everything gone haywire...there are people who start to appoint themselves to be morale inspectors and there are people who stupid enough to make a difference between kindness and responsibility.
About the lectures affected. I confess, they are an amazing lecture. They did that part amazingly...but as people who took care of our welfare...do they play their part in that? do they bother to know? do they actually listen to us and make a difference? all we heard is "I don't know. Why don't you ask this person, why don't you ask that person" we've been kicked here and there like a ball....and no solution has been made. If they so much pay attention to what is wrong with us at the first place...they wouldn't put the blank face in front of the KPM when they were asked what is going on with us. They are clueless because they don't know. They dump the responsibility to the admin knowing fully well that the admin itself is unreliable....and though they know what is wrong, they never took our side to begin with coz admin has more power than the students. It's not worth to fight for the students' right, so they just stick to what they do best which is teaching the students. But when something goes wrong, they started to look for people to blame. If they so much paid any interest in our case at the first place.Do you think that all these will happen to them.
And if they claim that we never reach out to them. They better shut their mouth. coz they know fully well what is going on. When we asked for their hand...they passed it to other people. The door is forever shut. Don't tell me that the student didn't try.They tried and all they got was disappointment. And when they got fed up and did something extreme...Now the lecturers start making noises and claim that they are the innocent victim.
It is fair for the students' life to be screwed coz they got a long life to live, they must know that the world doesn't revolve around them and sometimes they don't get what they want? but when it comes to the lecturer who taught us, we took pity in them, we feel remorse and start thinking that we are ungrateful bastard and bitches that made their life difficult. I wonder, if they really care about us, I'm sure they got nothing to be angry of when the KPM probe them with questions. They should be proud of their student for their guts to take some action which are few people can do instead of being outrage and looking for someone to blame.I don't know...should i feel guilty because these person are kind person or should i console myself and make me feel better that whatever happen to them is because they don't do the work properly. In UM, though the lecturer are more self absorbent and stick to themselves, but Dr Juliana as the coordinator at the time, did her work wonderfully. Though UM is bigger than IPIK. Our welfare is being taken care of. We got no worries and no complaint made. That's the different between people who actually do their job and didn't do their job.
And as for my cohort itself. What more I could say. I saw this pattern again and again that it made me feel nausea. Kiss asser is most prominent one, yang suke kumpul jawatan tapi xbuat kerje, yang buat kerja sikit tapi bising je lebih, yang baik dgn semua lecture tp buat kerja mcm bangang and claim they are too busy doing the works (ape die buat pun aku xtau), and budak yg mulut bising kat belakang bagai nak rak...kat depan...tunduk,kaki menggigil2...senyap seribu bahasa...and ade yg xamik kisah langsung coz they are to busy with themselves. Aku pun mebi antara golongan ni agaknye. Whatever. Tapi one thing I know about myself, if I knew something is wrong...i will against it. Kalau aku bley betray kawan sendri bile die buat salah...xmustahil aku bley betray pihak lain kalau diorg buat salah walaupun diorg baik dgn aku.
baik dgn tanggungjawab adalah perkara berbeza. Dulu bile aku dpt tau kawan aku nk songlap duit yg dikumpul untuk dinner...aku terus reject proposal die. Imagine, bile aku sendri call restoran tu...seorng cume kena byr rm40, but mangkuk tuh tekan sampai rm60. Kalau aku layankan die dan ikut idea die just becoz die baik dgn aku....do you think it is fair for the rest of the cohort? and aku bukan jenis yg bagitau satu dunia ape yg aku buat. aku buat dulu, the rest klu org dapat tau...itu terpulang pada diorg. N kalau mamat tuh bengang dgn aku psl hal tu and nak fitnah aku bukan2...sampai kate aku songlap duit biro ekonomi...go ahead...sekali pun aku xserang die.sekalipun aku xckp ape2 coz aku masih igt die kwn aku...and aku tau, bile org dah kantoi and takut org lain tau salah die...die akan divert the attention and cakap dielah victim.aku yg aniaya dia,akulah yg jahat. I remember each and everyone yg buat tuduhan tu pada aku. i will forgive but i won't forget. Aku xkate aku betul...but i didn't go to other people n spread nonsense or fitnah about my own friend which some of us memang suka buat. Aku xpaham mentaliti yg suka melaga-lagakan org, menghebahkan keburukan org kat org lain...n bile kena btg hidung sendiri.Mengamuk xtentu pasal. Gile hina...xkisah la kawan xkawan...hina tetap hina.
And aku xsuke mentaliti pengecut dan bacul. Belakang cakap berdegar2..tapi dpn pengecut....and bile ade problem saling tuding menuding jari kat member sendiri. Gilee aku benci org macam nih....tension tension


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