I need a break..but i don't know where to start..

I'm freaking desperate with my life right now...i really need a human touch...but it just a freaking crazy thing to hug just any person within my reach...my mom called me crying...about the same old stuff...how my sister treat her with disrespect in front of other people...but she keep coming back to my sis...like some kind of a magnet...after all my sis is still her daughter....

raised and brought up by lack of physical contact with my parents...i'm clueless on how to react in this situation...I'm not a physical person...I even hurt people with barely my tongue as a weapon...n I miss my Boyfriend more than anything...but all i did was lashing him with my words until his heart bleed and his mind disoriented...but the truth is I just want to touch him more than anything in this world...it's been 3 months since i saw his face...n everyday i'm getting more disturbed with things around me. My paranoia, my lack of optimism, my double-faced attitude...is kicking my ass until I could not sit in comfort....My life is a total mess...but I'm too tired to fix it....