not funny

aku dlm phase post-operation...utk sampai ke stage operation neh....sakit aku menanggung tiap2 bulan...xbley nk cerita...cume org yg pernah rasa je yang tahu....aku dah setahun lebih duk di johor...n dah 2 kali undergo operation....call it bad luck or whatever.....i dun know why....
1 st operation, appendix pecah...well time tuh mmg rase nk putus nyawa dah...only god knows....luckily time raya...n aku dkt umah family....so sebab cepat bertindak aku masih bernafas....if aku kt batu pahat...huhu...aku dh innalillah kot....coz aku duk sorg kt sane....but that is my 1st experience being immobilize n incapacitate.....it's hurt...but time heals everything....later...tetibe badan aku naik mendadak...my back start to ache...i thought it is due to my weight...n my abdoment hurt real bad especially during pre-while- post menstruation...n my cycle isn't normal...n i can't move due to the acute pain...n my only friend is "painkiller"....n guess wut....another operation incoming...bcoz of 2 things...my cysts are getting bigger they affected my reproductive system...n the appendicextomy scar sticks like glue to my bowel n abdomen wall..thus reducing my metabolism..here lay the answer of my hormone imbalance n why i'm getting fat though how much i exercise n the reason i feel pain every time i do the sit up........so i hv 2 go through another operation to remove the cysts n freed my bowel from the scar tissues...n it get me thinking.....
when i was happy back then...i was free from ailment.....but now, when everything goes haywire, my health also decreasing...i realize...i'm not happy...no matter how much i try...i'm still not happy....i want to be somewhere else that can make me happy...
No offense to anybody...tp aku sgt rase terseksa n trapt....fitting in the social circle that is not my social circle...macam balik ke zaman aku kt mrsm (except aku ade kwn kt sana)....aku risau lebih lama aku duduk di johor n xhepi....mcm2 ag penyakit yg aku dpt...
it's not funny if my stomach have to be cut every year...it's hurt....n though how much i think lightly or make fun about it....deep inside....it's my goddamn stomach....n i'm so freaking uncomfortable to get through this....