I miss my TESL buddies...

This morning we had the discussion related to ethnicity in Malaysia and how the disunity among the races in the local university is pointed out very obviously...most of the classes started to reflect their experiences with other races....the bad and the good....it somehow makes me miss my TESL buddies a lot...
Due to the fact that i fared quite poorly in my SPM result...I put the blame on myself for my inability to fit in the homogenous society of my boarding school due to my previous multicultural educational background. but sometimes, I have the thought, if only i stayed in SAB....things would have been better. But then again, in bad times, you get to know who your friends are....I'm not perfect..but some people did reach out to me, did become my friend and accepted me for being myself..and I'm grateful for that...
After that experience, I really put emphasize on never again I want to be in that situation. Unlike my other boarding school friends who chose to further their tertiary education by going to Matriculation colleges or institutions that end with Mara at the back...and since I got D in my chemistry subject..that automatically disqualify me to apply for JPA scholarship although I did very well in the other subjects...I still have a grudge towards my chemistry teacher because of that... I will never recognize her as a good teacher. For almost a year I studied by myself in order to avoid confrontation with her, she kept giving me emotional blackmail, saying that if I continuously show my rebellious side of me...she will 'haram' kan all the knowledge she had taught me. Her sister was equally bad. They kept on insisting that the student must respect them but they never look at themselves at the mirror...they acted like crazy women...scolding and shouting...and expected us to kiss their hands when the class ended...I could never understand that kind of culture, although I am a teacher...I never insisted that the pupils must kiss my hands. What annoyed me the most was the fact that these two women were always dress in a Jubah and waist length cloak...but their attitudes didn't represent their belief..it made me formed a negative perception about the muslimah with the waist length cloak..i could never look at them under the positive light...
So when the educational ministry offered the scholarship for TESL. I grabbed it. I didn't come from a rich family background and most of our education fund was sourced to my sister since she chose to study in the IPTS. So me and my younger brother decided to be resourceful and looking for any type of scholarship to fund our tertiary education...our parents play no part in deciding our tertiary education, perhaps they have learnt a valuable lesson when they forced their way into our education by putting my sister in UIA matriculation and me in MRSM....hoping that our rebellious tendencies will be reduced..or perhaps they at the time were influence by the rising of the Muslim awareness, realising that they were quite liberal in the way they brought us up, they thought by putting us in the blanket of homogenous community will help us find a way back to our root...evidently their action backfired...the tension within our family arose....and due to that they give us an absolute freedom to choose our own paths...but under a condition that we cannot fully rely on them for financial support..they will still give me and my brother allowances...but most of the money goes to our sister...
TESL scholarship is the best way out, and I don't hate the idea of becoming an English teacher. Because back then, they were always the nicest towards me. They inspired me of becoming an English teacher that  not only respected but loved by the students. They taught me about acceptance, about how everyone is equal. They teach me not to be judgemental and always go beyond the racial barrier. They made me realise that when teaching, we don't see the student according to their races...we just see some eager faces wanting to learn, to be appreciated, to be recognized, to be heard...they desire our attention to acknowledge them in the class...they need compliment when they are doing good and support when they perform badly...so although my passion somehow always related to politics...TESL wasn't such a bad idea at all..
My undergraduate study was the greatest moment of my life. Somehow I feel like I'm being rebirth, we came from different corner of Malaysia. each with our own value, lifestyle and perception...and we managed to withstand each other for 6 years and remain united....of course there are times when the grass was not always greener, we have good moment, we have bad moment....but the understanding and the acceptance developed towards each other is the most remarkable. Just by thinking about our TESL cohort can bring a smile to my face. All the retarded moment, the not so sane moment, the rebellious moment, the perverted moment....imprinted in my mind and make me feel nostalgic.
I remember at the beginning, we were prejudiced towards each other, we were divided into 6 homerooms and 3 classes which were 1.1, 1.2 and 1.3...1.1 was described as a rowdy bunch..always creating chaos and annoy the seniors by being too noisy. The 1.2 was described as the passive bunch, they are very good at getting things done,but they keep quiet most of the time. The 1.3 was described as a lazy bunch, although later it turn out most of the 4 flatters came from them.
I was placed in 1.1. We have the most number of guys compared to other classes.. but their influence are hardly recognized due to the fact that they are outnumbered by the girls...and it turn out we have lots of outspoken and gila kuasa classmates at the time. So the girls practically dominating everything about running the class...all the guys can do is nod. But despite this fact, we always thought our foundation year as our honeymoon year. We celebrated our birthday by throwing party every three months, we collected the money  and did some fundraising so that we could actually go to the vacation together. We had our fun time with the lecturers and some of the not so fun time. but what amused me the most, the race was never an issue..we talked, we joked about racial stuffs...never even considered about how sensitive the issues were treated outside...now that I look back...it kinda shaped the way I bring myself nowadays...i'm always so tactless in my words before...and the openness that I had experienced actually make it worse. if I were to talk the same way I did with them with the people outside, most people would feel offended....
For example, some of my friends openly admitting that they are bananas..and they felt no shame admitting it, while others might find it offensive. So, every time the chinese started speaking chinese language to them,  their facial expression was priceless....and we laugh a lot because of that... some of us are quite perverted in the innocent way....thanks to them i learn a lot about lemon and hentai.... well I have to admit i did play my part in it....we learnt a lot of puns and words with double meaning...and some of them are really hilarious....we had a fair share of the sleepyhead, whom always manage to stay awake most of the time except when the lecture started, we had the latecomers also known as budak2 skuter...coz skuter is often related to slowness (the lack of speed)...we have the noisy bunch whose laugh were even funnier than the joke itself, we have the rebellious bunch who will find every opportunity to go against the lecturer... we have the outspoken people who voices out their dissatisfaction towards certain issues face to face to the lecturer and we have the drama queens to add up some spices....
Never in my life i see so much freedom of expression being practiced almost every time except when we in the comfort of our own cohort....and I knew at the time, I found a place in which I belong. When we don't agree with something, we are quick to voice it out, without even thinking about the consequence, we formed a strong belief and committed to it...but we always manage to find the common ground. If we think that the lecturer is practising double standard..we are not afraid to voice it out...If we think that the lecturer decision is quite ridiculous, we will obviously retaliate.
We have so many strong characters within the cohort...each with their own persona and ideology. Leadership Wise, they are equally good. But I admire Jia Rong the most, her authoritarian ways of doing things, not necessarily agreeable to others, but it's always works out. We have Teoh, the perfectionist and idealist of our community, We have Kia Hooi who always calm and collected when handling things, the hard working Rahah who always come out with ideas and motivation to realise the ideas, Mamai who plan and organise things nicely, we have Asha who always so convincing in everything she said...these people are the person responsible in shaping the culture of our cohort. Our cohort is always being branded as the black sheep, coz we chose to go against the lecturer most of the time, but academically...our achievement as a general exceeds any other cohort...despite our rebelliousness...we are still able to get good grades....
I have my chance working with lots of coursemates from different background, and I like working with them...I like working with Jia Rong and Melissa because most of the time we ended up laughing about something hilarious that has nothing to do with what we are actually working on, this thing always manage to drive the lecturer mad...because they always came out with some witty retorts when the lecturer asked them about what they are doing...I love working with Gladys because I like her view, she just like a walking encyclopedia to me. The way she shows her view on things are very concise and sharp, she never fail to amaze me. I also love working with Ervinna, she always being so helpful, so ever ready to work with..we develop mutual understanding and filling in each other's limitation...it just occur to me that most of the time. I seldom work with my own friend, I find that working with my own friend is quite distracting...because you have to worry about personal aspects of your relationship. Well, i always being so non committal about relationship and friendship. the thought of having to spend my time and work with the same person is quite suffocating. Those who knew me well, will get the idea. You can become my bestest friend in the world, but if you ask me to work with you...I would say...NO. So i always act as an open agent accepting anybody who would want to work with me. and the system work just fine.
When working together, I always avoid being the leader, because I find that whenever I'm in charged.. the result is not what I have anticipated. I hate to work with people who only rely on me to tell them what to do...Fortunately my partners and my group member are always the initiative lot, full of ideas and resourceful...we contributed in ways that we did best...and I really love the experience....
And when the time comes for us to study in UM...we find no problem to fit in. The lecturers at first are quite sceptical because of the negative perception they had with our senior. But later, they begin to warm up to us,  the perception has changed...at that time they actually quite doubtful about our excellence in academic performance... it turns out their doubt was unfounded...because our result are getting even better than before...they become so proud of us for the fact not only all of us graduating with honour, but one of our cohort was chosen to receive a royal degree for the Bumiputera, something that education faculty would never dream to achieve....and I myself so proud of my friend Fatiha....she deserves it....and during the convocation day...when the education faculty graduates stand up symbolising the honour of graduating excellently....the feeling is indescribable...
Most of the time, the teachers are often affiliated with lack of training, inability to perform the task, lack of resourcefulness, even the profession of the teacher itself is considered as a last resort of the graduates who didn't manage to get a job...but us the product of the twinning programme between IPG and IPTA, defying the odds and became even better than the product of IPTA itself...prove to people that we can do it...that academic excellence can be reached if we really put our mind to it...we can proudly claim that we are the quality product...looking back I always so proud of becoming TESLians....
I don't care even some people look down on us and underestimating us by saying that TESL is an easy course...walk the talk man....i don't care shit about your course, if you are unable to get good grades, blame yourself...there's no such things as EASY course, we are busting our ass for the grades...we may look like the unaffected bunch...who can enjoy ourselves during the examination time, some people even asked when did you study? It's hard to find you doing revision or reading stuffs...but you always manage to get good grades...dear friend, we make it looks easy because we chose to....and we are not reading simply because the exam is around the corner...it's already implanted and accumulated through times and when the time comes...they will be written on the paper....just like what my friend always said "it's all in my head"....
At this moment...i really miss my buddies...I miss bullying Ieda, I miss sharing sarcasm remarks with Jahwati, I miss all the hilarious joke and retarded moment i shared with Jia Rong and Melissa, I miss the witty Aini with her witty remarks..i still remember how she fight ardently with the lecturer over a microphone..., I miss Muhafiz the "so called Capt.Jack, I miss Keri my hobbit mischievous partner..I miss Sze Mei and her funny jokes, I miss Ervinna who always so accepting towards me, I miss Anis Amira and Rohani, I just miss everybody.....luckily I'm still in contact with Gladys, Fatiha, Hanna, Zizi,Mamas and of course Aishah and Izzah....but perhaps someday...somebody will plan a reunion to gather us together....being part of the TESL cohort 2 students by far...is one of the best experience I ever had....