Friday, April 27, 2012
Wow...shocking....
aku shocked jap bile tgk statistic blog....hahaha...bile aku tgk traffic feed...mak aih....ramai nyer....more than 10 000....n funny thing is...url aku punye la susah nk igt...sampai aku sendri kene link kt fb sebab2 kadang2 terlupe url blog sendri..fat chance la klu bley random jumpe dlm google kan....hahaha...aku xpromote blog pun...n byk post sampah je dalam blog ni....xsangke le ade org bace...setahu aku member2 terdekat je yg baca....well sejak blog ade auto update nih...aku pun xberapa pay attention sgt....coz tujuan asal blog ni aku buat supaya aku xdela mcm attention seeker sgt kat fb....but skang dh auto connect dgn fb....so maybe sebab tu traffic naik...whatever la....just aku nk gtau je...if you happen to read my blog....be it my friend or sape saje....don't take it to heart...or take it everywhere....as i've said before...i write mostly craps...it's not worth reading at the first place....and if you happen to read those craps....leave it at that...aku bukan buat blog sebab nk tambah kawan ke, tambah musuh ke, or nk tambah duit poket ke...aku buat blog sebab aku mahukan outlet utk throw my emotion...simple.....my blog is like the fight club motto...if you read it, it's fine...but just keep quiet about what you read....so are we cool?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
penyiksa binatang.....
Aku ade terbaca satu hadis nabi ni.....pasal seorang perempuan yg kurung kucing tanpa makan dan minum....n tuhan janjikan neraka untuk dia.....and aku ada baca satu kisah seorang pelacur yang dijanjikan syurga sebab bagi anjing makan, aku juga pernah baca kisah burung gagak yang memberi makan seorang lelaki yg diikat di palang......n aku pernah tengok video seekor singa jantan yg pernah dibela manusia...sangat excited dapat jumpa tuan dia balik selepas dilepaskan di hutan safari.....
So...ape sebenarnye yang aku cuba sampaikan....Aku pernah tengok cerita kat TV....Aku bukan Rabiatul....cerita tentang mak ayam yang sangat baik dengan kucing......at the end of the story.baru dapat tau macam mana die bley jd pelacur....rupa2nya....imam surau kat tempat die meng"ayam" tu dulu la yg lacurkan dia.....well, itulah persepsi manusia...nampak pakai songkok sikit, pakai kopiah,berserban bagai....dialah manusia baik dan mulia....para ahli syurga.....tapi hati kat dalam busuk macam pekung...kita xtau...
Berbalik tentang cerita binatang ini...aku xbermasalah kalau orang xsuka binatang selagi dia tak menyeksa binatang itu....apa yang aku rasa sangat bermasalah adalah bila orang itu menyeksa binatang....
Even binatang yang boleh dimakan pun perlu disembelih dengan tertib.....xpayah cakap dari sudut agama.....tengok dari sudut kebersihan pun dah cukup...klu ko sembelih ikut syarat pun...pastu main campak atas tempat yang kotor penuh tahi dan sebagainya pun tetap haram juga....nak sembelih binatang pun ada kaedahnya.....sape rase xtau ape kaedah menyembelih binatang.....boleh la g mana2 website agama....sape2 rase nak version lain sket...bley je streaming you-tube...carik cerita pendek....tajuk Halal.....adibah Noor dgn Ah So mane tah berlakon.....ko xbley selambe balun kepala binatang tu dengan hammer bagi pecah, or ko xbley tembak dgn machine gun.......or bg kejutan elektrik or campak hidup2 dlm grinder.....at least hormat bende yg ko nk masuk dlm mulut tu......itu makhluk tuhan......bukan alat permainan....
Kenapa manusia boleh jadi xberhati perut walaupun dikurniakan akal? mempermainkan nyawa binatang sewenang2nya...klu dia dah boleh bunuh binatang tanpa ada sebab yang valid n tanpa rasa bersalah....bolehke kau percaya dia xkan bunuh ko...kalau dgn membunuh ko boleh menyenangkan diri dia...confirm...ko pun ade chance kena sembelih hidup2....
So moral of the story...klu ko ada terjumpa mana2 penyiksa binatang...jgn hesitate nk tepon polis....skang ni hukuman yg dikenakan kepada penyiksa binatang ni dah dinaikkan....jgn bagi peluang orang yg berhati setan mcm ni terus menerus berlagak seperti tuhan menyiksa binatang yg lemah....mungkin ko rasa ko jahat tp pintu rahmat tu sangat luas terbentang...klu kita buat baik dgn makhluk yg lebih lemah dari kita dan ikhlas...tuhan tahu...biarlah orang nk cakap apa pun....tuhan tahu niat korang tu....
So...ape sebenarnye yang aku cuba sampaikan....Aku pernah tengok cerita kat TV....Aku bukan Rabiatul....cerita tentang mak ayam yang sangat baik dengan kucing......at the end of the story.baru dapat tau macam mana die bley jd pelacur....rupa2nya....imam surau kat tempat die meng"ayam" tu dulu la yg lacurkan dia.....well, itulah persepsi manusia...nampak pakai songkok sikit, pakai kopiah,berserban bagai....dialah manusia baik dan mulia....para ahli syurga.....tapi hati kat dalam busuk macam pekung...kita xtau...
Berbalik tentang cerita binatang ini...aku xbermasalah kalau orang xsuka binatang selagi dia tak menyeksa binatang itu....apa yang aku rasa sangat bermasalah adalah bila orang itu menyeksa binatang....
Even binatang yang boleh dimakan pun perlu disembelih dengan tertib.....xpayah cakap dari sudut agama.....tengok dari sudut kebersihan pun dah cukup...klu ko sembelih ikut syarat pun...pastu main campak atas tempat yang kotor penuh tahi dan sebagainya pun tetap haram juga....nak sembelih binatang pun ada kaedahnya.....sape rase xtau ape kaedah menyembelih binatang.....boleh la g mana2 website agama....sape2 rase nak version lain sket...bley je streaming you-tube...carik cerita pendek....tajuk Halal.....adibah Noor dgn Ah So mane tah berlakon.....ko xbley selambe balun kepala binatang tu dengan hammer bagi pecah, or ko xbley tembak dgn machine gun.......or bg kejutan elektrik or campak hidup2 dlm grinder.....at least hormat bende yg ko nk masuk dlm mulut tu......itu makhluk tuhan......bukan alat permainan....
Kenapa manusia boleh jadi xberhati perut walaupun dikurniakan akal? mempermainkan nyawa binatang sewenang2nya...klu dia dah boleh bunuh binatang tanpa ada sebab yang valid n tanpa rasa bersalah....bolehke kau percaya dia xkan bunuh ko...kalau dgn membunuh ko boleh menyenangkan diri dia...confirm...ko pun ade chance kena sembelih hidup2....
So moral of the story...klu ko ada terjumpa mana2 penyiksa binatang...jgn hesitate nk tepon polis....skang ni hukuman yg dikenakan kepada penyiksa binatang ni dah dinaikkan....jgn bagi peluang orang yg berhati setan mcm ni terus menerus berlagak seperti tuhan menyiksa binatang yg lemah....mungkin ko rasa ko jahat tp pintu rahmat tu sangat luas terbentang...klu kita buat baik dgn makhluk yg lebih lemah dari kita dan ikhlas...tuhan tahu...biarlah orang nk cakap apa pun....tuhan tahu niat korang tu....
Things that made me happy...
Lately aku asyik merungut2 dan mengutuk2 orang tertentu aje.....sampai aku merasa yg aku sgt negatif....so ari ni aku nk tukar sikit....aku nk cakap pasal mende yg aku suke....sape2 yg tahu, aku accident last year...kena claim insuran...process claim insuran tu dibuat dlm tempoh xsampai seminggu pun...dah clear semuanya...aku cume kene byr charge perkhidmatan dkt workshop je....rm100, kereta aku dgn kereta yg berlanggar dgn aku tu...semua insuran tu cover kan....aku byk dengar kawan2 cerita pasal masalah diorg nk claim insuran masa accident...aku bersyukur sgt aku pilih Allianz...seyes aku xde dapat duit sesen pun promote diorg...tp aku dah gune 3 insuran sebelum ni...Pan Global, Tokyo Marine and Allianz....thumbs up kat Allianz...they are the best....Claim insuran dapat cepat...no hassle no bustle....same goes with medical insurance aku....pun aku amik Allianz....xpernah aku kene tunggu lama2 untuk process kemasukan wad aku....dlm sejam je...semua settle...n hospital dah dpt Guarantee Letter....so aku sgt puas ati dgn Allianz...bg aku sgt berbaloi aku byr RM 100 bulan2 utk medical insuran....mcm tu jugak dgn insuran kereta td....walaupun aku dh accident tahun lepas...tp Allianz xreset kepada harga asal insuran...diorg cuma charge aku RM500 over untuk tahun ni instead of RM700 over....next year diorg akan ptg 25% balik....and with extra charge RM10, aku xyah susah2 nk renew road tax aku sendri, nk beratur, nk cari parking ke...diorg buatkan semua dari A sampai Z....aku cume tunggu je sticker road tax tu smpi kt rumah.....
And talking about something related to car, daripada aku mula pakai kereta sampai sekarang, aku g workshop yg sama. Workshop ni kawan bapak aku yg punya. Nearly 9 years diorg maintain kereta aku....service diorg sgt best....they just like another workshop, but kalau aku hantar kereta g service. Aku bley call je workshop tu mintak org amik kereta or kalau aku g hantar sendri, bos die mesti tanya "Nak I hantar U balik tak? nanti dah siap I suruh mechanic I ambil you kat rumah"....and setiap kali aku g service mesti dapat free gift....huhuhu.....let's say klu kereta aku de problem kecik2..mcm td kereta aku xbley start...aku just call...n nnt mechanic dia dtg tlg tgk...FOC...tp aku xde la sekejam itu...hulur la skit duit minum.....
Well since aku dah mention about kereta aku yg rosak, aku nk ceritakan pulak tentang pengalaman aku pergi dan balik naik teksi semalam. Aku ni x sempat nk cucuk duit semalam. So dalam wallet de dlm RM4 je. Tetibe kereta la wat hal.So aku pun berlari-lari mencari teksi. Aku dapat tahan satu teksi, aku cakap kt driver teksi tu, aku nk g sekolah but kene wat pitstop kt CIMB, nk cucuk duit byr tambang....dia pun ikut kan je..driver ni smart semacam je, die xpakai baju pemandu teksi yg warna putih tu, aku cuak semacam gak tgk die mula2, dia pakai kemeja kuning garis2....cuak gak aku..aku pun check la id card kt dashboard die...legit..huhu...Jam dia aku confirm jam ori...dia pakai jam G-Shock macam Zizan Raja Lawak pakai tu...umur lebih kurang baya aku...aku curious juga tp takut nk tanye...aku tengok jam dah pkl 12.30...aku dah gelabah...GB aku kan strict org nyer....aku baru perasan air tine aku dh expired...so time aku cucuk duit kt CIMB...aku try la mobile reload...transaction rejected...aku makin cuak...masuk teksi balik driver tanye..nape muka cuak? aku kate "saya try mobile reload tp rejected...saya nk call penyelia petang bagitau saya lambat....saya punye credit dh habis"....die seluk poket die, keluar blackberry ko...die bg aku suro call penyelia ptg aku....gile punye baik die ni....dah abis aku call tu aku tanye la "awak muda ag, nape bwk teksi..." dia cakap "nak cari duit lebih..nak kawin..bapak saya punya teksi ni, hari ni saya kerja shift malam....so saya bawak teksi siang...bapak saya bawak malam, kami gilir-gilir" dalam hati aku mmg respect la budak ni...waja betul die nk kawin sampai sanggup bawak teksi nk cukupkan duit...untuk la tunang dia....bila sampai sekolah...aku terus hulur duit tambang...tambang sebenar RM 12 je, tp aku bg RM 15...keep the change...die xnk...die kate byk benor tipnye...aku kate xpe...buat belanje kawin...hahaha...mcm cukup je...
Time balik pulak aku naik teksi. Driver dia India. Aku mula2 xde mood nak borak, tapi dia sgt peramah. so aku pun layan dia borak. Dia dulu government servant, dah bersara baru jd teksi driver...so we talk aboout a lot of stuffs....basically about government servant stuffs...mcm2 jugak la dia tanya aku....and then dia kata, no offence ye dik...you don't sound like a typical Malay at all...the way you speak, the way you think...it's different....and you do lots of citations..so i guess you read a lot....phew....kene puji dgn random stranger definitely boost your confident.....tp bab die kate aku xmcm malay tu, aku xbrape suke sebab agak racist....aku just cakap I'm a Malaysian....but since he is nice to me...so again...aku bg tip gak kat dia....
To tell the truth...some random stranger can make people happy by doing their job to accomodate and to make other people's life easier.....walaupun semua yg aku mention kt atas ni adalah money driven....tp adeke bende yg free dlm dunia ni.....bg aku...klu org buat kita happy....kita xakan kedekut untuk berbelanja lebih....so moral of the story....be nice to people...so org xrase sentap bile keluar duit byk2...tp xdpt layanan sepatutnye.....
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sentap mak nok....
Mak aku skang kate aku asik merungut je...dia kata kalau asik merungut hilang berkat buat semua kerja...aku pun xtau la nape aku asik meroyan2....tp sejak akhir2 ni...kepala aku dah mereng angkara pentadbir....bukan sekali dua aku kena sound....kalau cakap elok-elok xpe...bergenang jugak le mata aku...dada xyah cakap rr...sebak semak xhingat....dah berapa kali aku diperlekehkan...dibuat macam kuli batak....perlian yg aku dapat memang xhingat la.....
mula2 tentang isu pasal aku byk wat latihan dgn task sheet sendri....dikatakan oleh gb...latihan aku xde kualiti...dah la bg sikit....satu page je sehari...kerja rumah x bg..gb suruh aku fotostat dari buku kerja n bagi budak kerja byk2...bg dia, klu bg kerja sikit bermaksud cikgu tu pemalas....sentap aku dah.....aku explain kt GB....buku rujukan darjah 2 kat luar sana satu pun belum dapat copyright dari CDC atau kementerian untuk keluarkan buku format kssr....kita xbley sebarang guna....lagipun LPM dah pesan...klu assessment, seboleh2nye gune authentic material...gb pun kate..saya lebih percayakan kualiti buku rujukan dari kualiti kerja awak....fuh...gile ko x sentap.....pastu gb sound aku dlm meeting pulak pasal muzik....kenapa xde eviden dalam fail....aku terangkan lg...assessment muzik semua pun oral....aku buat checklist je la....and buat write up report...gb xnk dengar....die kata...klu susah sangat fotostat byk2 lagu patriotik letak dalam fail eviden (dalam hati aku dah cakap kepale hotak ko....dah la nak fotostat sekali satu batch...confirm2 gune duit aku...pastu letak mende yg xde kene mengene dgn kehendak standard prestasi semata2 xnk kene sound dgn pemantau...igt pemantau tu bodo...klu die tanye kat aku kenape letak lagu2 ni dalam fail...aku gak yg kene menjawab...ko lepas tangan....) tapi dalam hati je la...Satu hari de sorang cikgu dok belek brg2 atas meja aku...die pun terpegang checklist pendidikan muzik aku dgn write report utk each kelas...die pun cakap kt aku "Eh...Amy buat dah semua ni??? abis tu nape GB marah amy siap bgtau dlm mesyuarat, Amy xmasuk eviden...ni bukan eviden ke? akak punye pun xmcm ni...." Aku jawab "biar le kak....berdebat dgn org bodoh sombong memang xkan abis...dah berape kali saye kata....assessment muzik memang oral...so saye gune check list....bile pemantau dtg, saya bg checklist je la...klu die nak sponsor video camera xpe gak...nk potostat pun pau duit cikgu...."
Pasal fail ari tu pun dah cukup buat aku sentap...dah elok2 fail aku buat....tetibe kene wat mende bodo suro ganti tajuk mata pelajaran tu dgn separator yg die bg.....abis macam tu je kertas warna aku...yg aku beli sendri......klu sikit xpe...sebak tengok kertas cantik2, mahal2 kena potong n campak tong sampah....pastu plastic cover aku...tetibe lak ade pihak tertentu amik, wat mcm harta sendri....paham2 sendri la..klu hak org,..klu ko amik....ape jd.....
Baru-baru ni...aku kena sound psl ada typo kt minit mesyuarat...memang terkedu aku kena...memangla aku melayu...tp adatla...klu typo2 tu...bukan semua perkataan dalam bahasa melayu aku tau...dah la kena buat kerja, minit mesyuarat aku potostat sendri..igt murah ke...sekeping seposen..minit mesyuarat paling pendek 5 keping darab dgn 40 org...do the math la....psl duit aku ko xungkit....pasal typo yg ko ungkit. Siap cakap "jangan sampai org kate cikgu degree ni xde kualiti....rajin2la jumpa cikgu BM utk check tatabahasa...yang nak tengok minit mesyuarat ni nanti pegawai atas yg memantau...." fuh...kalau aku xsentap...aku ni orang gila la....igt cikgu bm kat sekolah tu xde keje lain nak mengadap muka aku...klu dah tau aku ni bengap, xde kualiti...nape suruh aku jd setiausaha....dah la semua kuar duit sendri...bukan terima kasih yg dapat....kene keji lagi adelah....pastu pasal isu cerap buku.....oleh kerana GB asik2 nak cerap buku....aku pun banyak kerja lain nak buat....ada sesetangah buku aku lupa ulas dan buat catatan....GB dgn kasar nya hampir mencampak buku2 student aku masa nk bg aku balik...sambil kata dgn nada agak keras "Awak buat apa sampai ada buku yg awak x ulas...." sentap ag....aku buat ape ye??? goyang kaki...makan gaji buta,.....bersenang lenang....
Pastu aku kene sound psl denda budak ketuk ketampi 10 kali...fuh zalim sungguh aku ni...sampai budak tu pendarahan....pendarahan sangat la.....last2 budak tu yg dtg mintak maaf dgn aku...sebab semua budak pulaukan dia sebab menipu.....Gb bukan nk tanye kenapa aku denda ke ape ke....die terus marah aku..."kalau sekolah kena saman akibat perbuatan awak...saya yg kena"....aduh...sentap ag aku....
dua hari lepas, aku kena marah ag...pasal buku rph dah nak abis...aku kena bebel supaya berjimat kertas..ringkaskan lesson plan..jgn membazir ruang..panas telinga aku....dalam hati, ade ke orang bodoh macam aku nak tulis lesson plan panjang2 psl die boring, suke2 or xde keje...sebab aku ade pengalaman kene pantau dulu lah...aku sgt particular psl lesson plan...better play safe than sorry..aku dah sedaya upaya jalankan kerja aku...tp terima kasih mmg xde chance la nk dapat.....kena kutuk ag adalah....buat aku ni mcm kecik sgt je...4 bulan aku kt sini...lately setiap kali aku nk g skolah...aku siap nangis2 dulu dlm kereta....klu aku bley escape...mmg aku nk escape...
Mmg aku yg mintak nk balik KL...tp nasib aku xbaik...sebab masuk sekolah yg pentadbiran dia macam ni..aku tahu kita xbley dapat semua...tp aku punye tension dah lebih dari tahap aku tension mase GB sekolah lama suro aku g Kursus 3 minggu berturut2...non stop..aku dok pikir...rumah dah macam tongkang pecah....baju kotor berlonggok2, kerja atas meja berlambak2, kucing kt umah makan ke tidak..tidur xcukup...pastu...ambik kau.... terus accident......skang ni pun penyelia petang pun dah pening dgn aku.....aku g kunci pintu bilik die....sedangkan kunci die ade kt dalam...aku tertinggal beg aku kat bilik GPK HEM....aku lupe ade meeting.....aku bwk balik buku register....kemerengan aku makin terserlah.....aku cakap dgn mak aku......akhir2 ni aku asik mimpi accident je....tah2 aku mati accident agaknye.....xlame ag...mak aku pun ape lagi...start la dengan ceramah Profesor Muhaya die.....tapi aku ade gut feeling yg mengatakan...if aku stay lama lagi...aku mungkin mati awal....kalau x accident....heart attack.....xpun buat shooting rampage.....huhu...seb baik kt Malaysia ni pistol diharamkan......
mula2 tentang isu pasal aku byk wat latihan dgn task sheet sendri....dikatakan oleh gb...latihan aku xde kualiti...dah la bg sikit....satu page je sehari...kerja rumah x bg..gb suruh aku fotostat dari buku kerja n bagi budak kerja byk2...bg dia, klu bg kerja sikit bermaksud cikgu tu pemalas....sentap aku dah.....aku explain kt GB....buku rujukan darjah 2 kat luar sana satu pun belum dapat copyright dari CDC atau kementerian untuk keluarkan buku format kssr....kita xbley sebarang guna....lagipun LPM dah pesan...klu assessment, seboleh2nye gune authentic material...gb pun kate..saya lebih percayakan kualiti buku rujukan dari kualiti kerja awak....fuh...gile ko x sentap.....pastu gb sound aku dlm meeting pulak pasal muzik....kenapa xde eviden dalam fail....aku terangkan lg...assessment muzik semua pun oral....aku buat checklist je la....and buat write up report...gb xnk dengar....die kata...klu susah sangat fotostat byk2 lagu patriotik letak dalam fail eviden (dalam hati aku dah cakap kepale hotak ko....dah la nak fotostat sekali satu batch...confirm2 gune duit aku...pastu letak mende yg xde kene mengene dgn kehendak standard prestasi semata2 xnk kene sound dgn pemantau...igt pemantau tu bodo...klu die tanye kat aku kenape letak lagu2 ni dalam fail...aku gak yg kene menjawab...ko lepas tangan....) tapi dalam hati je la...Satu hari de sorang cikgu dok belek brg2 atas meja aku...die pun terpegang checklist pendidikan muzik aku dgn write report utk each kelas...die pun cakap kt aku "Eh...Amy buat dah semua ni??? abis tu nape GB marah amy siap bgtau dlm mesyuarat, Amy xmasuk eviden...ni bukan eviden ke? akak punye pun xmcm ni...." Aku jawab "biar le kak....berdebat dgn org bodoh sombong memang xkan abis...dah berape kali saye kata....assessment muzik memang oral...so saye gune check list....bile pemantau dtg, saya bg checklist je la...klu die nak sponsor video camera xpe gak...nk potostat pun pau duit cikgu...."
Pasal fail ari tu pun dah cukup buat aku sentap...dah elok2 fail aku buat....tetibe kene wat mende bodo suro ganti tajuk mata pelajaran tu dgn separator yg die bg.....abis macam tu je kertas warna aku...yg aku beli sendri......klu sikit xpe...sebak tengok kertas cantik2, mahal2 kena potong n campak tong sampah....pastu plastic cover aku...tetibe lak ade pihak tertentu amik, wat mcm harta sendri....paham2 sendri la..klu hak org,..klu ko amik....ape jd.....
Baru-baru ni...aku kena sound psl ada typo kt minit mesyuarat...memang terkedu aku kena...memangla aku melayu...tp adatla...klu typo2 tu...bukan semua perkataan dalam bahasa melayu aku tau...dah la kena buat kerja, minit mesyuarat aku potostat sendri..igt murah ke...sekeping seposen..minit mesyuarat paling pendek 5 keping darab dgn 40 org...do the math la....psl duit aku ko xungkit....pasal typo yg ko ungkit. Siap cakap "jangan sampai org kate cikgu degree ni xde kualiti....rajin2la jumpa cikgu BM utk check tatabahasa...yang nak tengok minit mesyuarat ni nanti pegawai atas yg memantau...." fuh...kalau aku xsentap...aku ni orang gila la....igt cikgu bm kat sekolah tu xde keje lain nak mengadap muka aku...klu dah tau aku ni bengap, xde kualiti...nape suruh aku jd setiausaha....dah la semua kuar duit sendri...bukan terima kasih yg dapat....kene keji lagi adelah....pastu pasal isu cerap buku.....oleh kerana GB asik2 nak cerap buku....aku pun banyak kerja lain nak buat....ada sesetangah buku aku lupa ulas dan buat catatan....GB dgn kasar nya hampir mencampak buku2 student aku masa nk bg aku balik...sambil kata dgn nada agak keras "Awak buat apa sampai ada buku yg awak x ulas...." sentap ag....aku buat ape ye??? goyang kaki...makan gaji buta,.....bersenang lenang....
Pastu aku kene sound psl denda budak ketuk ketampi 10 kali...fuh zalim sungguh aku ni...sampai budak tu pendarahan....pendarahan sangat la.....last2 budak tu yg dtg mintak maaf dgn aku...sebab semua budak pulaukan dia sebab menipu.....Gb bukan nk tanye kenapa aku denda ke ape ke....die terus marah aku..."kalau sekolah kena saman akibat perbuatan awak...saya yg kena"....aduh...sentap ag aku....
dua hari lepas, aku kena marah ag...pasal buku rph dah nak abis...aku kena bebel supaya berjimat kertas..ringkaskan lesson plan..jgn membazir ruang..panas telinga aku....dalam hati, ade ke orang bodoh macam aku nak tulis lesson plan panjang2 psl die boring, suke2 or xde keje...sebab aku ade pengalaman kene pantau dulu lah...aku sgt particular psl lesson plan...better play safe than sorry..aku dah sedaya upaya jalankan kerja aku...tp terima kasih mmg xde chance la nk dapat.....kena kutuk ag adalah....buat aku ni mcm kecik sgt je...4 bulan aku kt sini...lately setiap kali aku nk g skolah...aku siap nangis2 dulu dlm kereta....klu aku bley escape...mmg aku nk escape...
Mmg aku yg mintak nk balik KL...tp nasib aku xbaik...sebab masuk sekolah yg pentadbiran dia macam ni..aku tahu kita xbley dapat semua...tp aku punye tension dah lebih dari tahap aku tension mase GB sekolah lama suro aku g Kursus 3 minggu berturut2...non stop..aku dok pikir...rumah dah macam tongkang pecah....baju kotor berlonggok2, kerja atas meja berlambak2, kucing kt umah makan ke tidak..tidur xcukup...pastu...ambik kau.... terus accident......skang ni pun penyelia petang pun dah pening dgn aku.....aku g kunci pintu bilik die....sedangkan kunci die ade kt dalam...aku tertinggal beg aku kat bilik GPK HEM....aku lupe ade meeting.....aku bwk balik buku register....kemerengan aku makin terserlah.....aku cakap dgn mak aku......akhir2 ni aku asik mimpi accident je....tah2 aku mati accident agaknye.....xlame ag...mak aku pun ape lagi...start la dengan ceramah Profesor Muhaya die.....tapi aku ade gut feeling yg mengatakan...if aku stay lama lagi...aku mungkin mati awal....kalau x accident....heart attack.....xpun buat shooting rampage.....huhu...seb baik kt Malaysia ni pistol diharamkan......
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I miss it...
I miss the old time
when I can wear what i want
and people don't judge me for that
I miss the old time
when i can hang around with my friends
and we don't have to prove who lead the best life
I miss the old time
when i can laugh like crazy hearing my friends' funny jokes
and fighting like a cat when we start to argue
I miss the old time
when I can go outside and play
and doesn't give a damn what time i wake up the next day
I miss the old time
when the boys think I'm cool
and the question that am I a marriageable material never appear
I miss the old time
when i am a gamer
and people around me don't seem to bother
I miss the old time
when i can burp in front of my partner
and he doesn't think it's totally indecent
I miss the old time
when I can be me
instead of playing another character and feel bitter....
when I can wear what i want
and people don't judge me for that
I miss the old time
when i can hang around with my friends
and we don't have to prove who lead the best life
I miss the old time
when i can laugh like crazy hearing my friends' funny jokes
and fighting like a cat when we start to argue
I miss the old time
when I can go outside and play
and doesn't give a damn what time i wake up the next day
I miss the old time
when the boys think I'm cool
and the question that am I a marriageable material never appear
I miss the old time
when i am a gamer
and people around me don't seem to bother
I miss the old time
when i can burp in front of my partner
and he doesn't think it's totally indecent
I miss the old time
when I can be me
instead of playing another character and feel bitter....
Sunday, April 8, 2012
I'm just bored....
Somebody asked me..."why are you like this? are you punishing yourself or something?".....erk...I don't ?understand...."Do you....purposely make people hate you? or avoiding people? or refuse to be with people?....I pity you...."....Damn...am I that pathetic???.....I guess I'm just tired...or maybe I need a slap....
So I guess I am the object of pity now....what's next??.....I'm just bored...i need a friend to play with...everyone seems boring these days...so I'm not happy....therefore...i choose to ruin other's happy moment...I guess....
The last thing I need is an evaluation of my psychological state....I'm just obeying the role of normal average single 27 year old woman....it will get worse....so find my something to play with...so i will not get bored and driving people nuts....
Thursday, April 5, 2012
some random guy....
dear some random guy....although I'm good at solving puzzle...but as I aged...laziness take the best of me....so stop giving me trails of bread crumbs coz there is a higher chance i won't follow your lead...I am at the age where frankness is very much recommended....so don't poke my shoulder and expect me to start looking...coz i don't bother...
i am not the prettiest in the crowd nor i'm the fairest of them all...i am not a saint..I am a mannequin of imperfection... I've got holes throughout my body and some rotten parts...so knowing fully aware those quality are not appetizing.... therefore i have no intention to make you like me...i'm done pleasing people...i used to please the people i like...but in the end they only see the ugly side of me...talking about it behind my back...making my ugliness as an excuse to leave me...I'm done with "you don't understand", "you never listen", "you are so quick to judge", "you are not good enough for me"....so i decided i had enough...and I'm really done....
it hurt me the most that i was always hidden during the relationship as if i'm not worthy enough to be exposed...my parents teach me prudence, they teach me how to rely on myself, how to think, how to draw the line between the good and the bad...how to speak my mind though sometimes it just plain rude....i might be an irrational bitch...but my parents taught me well that i should be proud of who i am...i'm not the best...but i'm good enough.....so if you going to hide me inside the closet...because of your fear of your parents retaliation.or you want to escape from your friends' shrewd judgmental eyes....then, just forget it.....i'm not interested in winning anybody's heart..
don't talk to me about how ambitious you are, about how you want to be some filthy rich businessman..or about how you are a very important figure in your arena, don't ever try to show me how overachiever you are, how smart and how deep you can be...coz that makes me wanna slap you...
and stop giving lectures about how i should conduct myself...it's tiring and annoying...the best way is to accept me they way i am....coz if i don't like some part of you....i won't like you at all...i had enough dealing with things that I don't like....i hate people who smokes....i hate indecisive people.. i hate people who cheat...if you love enough you won't cheat....i hate pervert....i hate masochist...i hate bigot...i hate ignorant people, i hate people who don't want to go out from their comfort zone, i hate pragmatist, i am very judgmental....so i won't tolerate with what i hate anymore....i've move on from tolerating corner to not giving a damn corner...
i don't know what i expect from life...but i just want to hang around...and have fun...to have some stable relationship....i don't like roller coaster ride, i don't like to fight today and reconcile another day, so no bad boy or douche bag.....i'm way pass that...i'm just plain lazy....so a lazy will do for me....the one who doesn't think too much, the one so random, the one who can eat nice things with me, who could walk with me for hours without having any clear direction of actually reaching anywhere....the one who i can talk about the manga i just read or the game i am playing at the moment....who could waste hours to listen to me whining about trivial non related stuff or how i hate my boss, my life, my friends, my shoes, my clothes, my handwriting....bla bla bla...
so if you don't have any intention of doing that....don't even bother...coz i know...i'm not the kind of Zelda or Peach Princess that a Link or a Mario would make a quest to save....so don't sing me a love song coz i will get bored....i'm at the stage where trying to impress me only leads to me hating you more...or playing games with me makes me want to stab your toes with a screwdriver.....so stop sending me any alien encrypted message...coz i don't have the mood to decipher it....
i am not the prettiest in the crowd nor i'm the fairest of them all...i am not a saint..I am a mannequin of imperfection... I've got holes throughout my body and some rotten parts...so knowing fully aware those quality are not appetizing.... therefore i have no intention to make you like me...i'm done pleasing people...i used to please the people i like...but in the end they only see the ugly side of me...talking about it behind my back...making my ugliness as an excuse to leave me...I'm done with "you don't understand", "you never listen", "you are so quick to judge", "you are not good enough for me"....so i decided i had enough...and I'm really done....
it hurt me the most that i was always hidden during the relationship as if i'm not worthy enough to be exposed...my parents teach me prudence, they teach me how to rely on myself, how to think, how to draw the line between the good and the bad...how to speak my mind though sometimes it just plain rude....i might be an irrational bitch...but my parents taught me well that i should be proud of who i am...i'm not the best...but i'm good enough.....so if you going to hide me inside the closet...because of your fear of your parents retaliation.or you want to escape from your friends' shrewd judgmental eyes....then, just forget it.....i'm not interested in winning anybody's heart..
don't talk to me about how ambitious you are, about how you want to be some filthy rich businessman..or about how you are a very important figure in your arena, don't ever try to show me how overachiever you are, how smart and how deep you can be...coz that makes me wanna slap you...
and stop giving lectures about how i should conduct myself...it's tiring and annoying...the best way is to accept me they way i am....coz if i don't like some part of you....i won't like you at all...i had enough dealing with things that I don't like....i hate people who smokes....i hate indecisive people.. i hate people who cheat...if you love enough you won't cheat....i hate pervert....i hate masochist...i hate bigot...i hate ignorant people, i hate people who don't want to go out from their comfort zone, i hate pragmatist, i am very judgmental....so i won't tolerate with what i hate anymore....i've move on from tolerating corner to not giving a damn corner...
i don't know what i expect from life...but i just want to hang around...and have fun...to have some stable relationship....i don't like roller coaster ride, i don't like to fight today and reconcile another day, so no bad boy or douche bag.....i'm way pass that...i'm just plain lazy....so a lazy will do for me....the one who doesn't think too much, the one so random, the one who can eat nice things with me, who could walk with me for hours without having any clear direction of actually reaching anywhere....the one who i can talk about the manga i just read or the game i am playing at the moment....who could waste hours to listen to me whining about trivial non related stuff or how i hate my boss, my life, my friends, my shoes, my clothes, my handwriting....bla bla bla...
so if you don't have any intention of doing that....don't even bother...coz i know...i'm not the kind of Zelda or Peach Princess that a Link or a Mario would make a quest to save....so don't sing me a love song coz i will get bored....i'm at the stage where trying to impress me only leads to me hating you more...or playing games with me makes me want to stab your toes with a screwdriver.....so stop sending me any alien encrypted message...coz i don't have the mood to decipher it....
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