some random guy....

dear some random guy....although I'm good at solving puzzle...but as I aged...laziness take the best of me....so stop giving me trails of bread crumbs coz there is a higher chance i won't follow your lead...I am at the age where frankness is very much recommended....so don't poke my shoulder and expect me to start looking...coz i don't bother...
i am not the prettiest in the crowd nor i'm the fairest of them all...i am not a saint..I am a mannequin of imperfection... I've got holes throughout my body and some rotten parts...so knowing fully aware those quality are not appetizing.... therefore i have no intention to make you like me...i'm done pleasing people...i used to please the people i like...but in the end they only see the ugly side of me...talking about it behind my back...making my ugliness as an excuse to leave me...I'm done with "you don't understand", "you never listen", "you are so quick to judge", "you are not good enough for me"....so i decided i had enough...and I'm really done....
it hurt me the most that i was always hidden during the relationship as if i'm not worthy enough to be exposed...my parents teach me prudence, they teach me how to rely on myself, how to think, how to draw the line between the good and the bad...how to speak my mind though sometimes it just plain rude....i might be an irrational bitch...but my parents taught me well that i should be proud of who i am...i'm not the best...but i'm good enough.....so if you going to hide me inside the closet...because of your fear of your parents retaliation.or you want to escape from your friends' shrewd judgmental eyes....then, just forget it.....i'm not interested in winning anybody's heart..
don't talk to me about how ambitious you are, about how you want to be some filthy rich businessman..or about how you are a very important figure in your arena, don't ever try to show me how overachiever you are, how smart and how deep you can be...coz that makes me wanna slap you...
and stop giving lectures about how i should conduct myself...it's tiring and annoying...the best way is to accept me they way i am....coz if i don't like some part of you....i won't like you at all...i had enough dealing with things that I don't like....i hate people who smokes....i hate indecisive people.. i hate people who cheat...if you love enough you won't cheat....i hate pervert....i hate masochist...i hate bigot...i hate ignorant people, i hate people who don't want to go out from their comfort zone, i hate pragmatist, i am very judgmental....so i won't tolerate with what i hate anymore....i've move on from tolerating corner to not giving a damn corner...
i don't know what i expect from life...but i just want to hang around...and have fun...to have some stable relationship....i don't like roller coaster ride, i don't like to fight today and reconcile another day, so no bad boy or douche bag.....i'm way pass that...i'm just plain lazy....so a lazy will do for me....the one who doesn't think too much, the one so random, the one who can eat nice things with me, who could walk with me for hours without having any clear direction of actually reaching anywhere....the one who i can talk about the manga i just read or the game i am playing at the moment....who could waste hours to listen to me whining about trivial non related stuff or how i hate my boss, my life, my friends, my shoes, my clothes, my handwriting....bla bla bla...
so if you don't have any intention of doing that....don't even bother...coz i know...i'm not the kind of Zelda or Peach Princess that a Link or a Mario would make a quest to save....so don't sing me a love song coz i will get bored....i'm at the stage where trying to impress me only leads to me hating you more...or playing games with me makes me want to stab your toes with a screwdriver.....so stop sending me any alien encrypted message...coz i don't have the mood to decipher it....