i knew this would happen...

To start with, me pursuing master degree...is not something big....everybody does that nowadays...if you have the money, the time and the means to do that....it's not a big deal at all.....
Some of my cousins, my friends and even my younger brother are on the same path...and there are numbers of them that progressing to complete their PHD... compare to them, I just started...and it's a long way to go.
But even among my relatives, I heard something unpleasant about my decision to start being a student again. Mostly, it's about me taking the unpaid study leave. Since my mom isn't working anymore. The money is quite tight, not that I'm helping enough in that department before. Still, RM500 monthly can cover a lot of things around the house. I knew my decision more or less will affect the way things are going in the house, since I am now a freeloader for a year. I talked to my mom recently, she said she's fine with my decision. But, i don't think it's the same for my other siblings. Therefore, I guess i should start prioritising of how I'm going to spend my monthly allowance from the scholarship that I received. Rm1300 per month is not much to sustain all my expenses, but it's still better than nothing. Minus all the car loan, ASB loan and my insurance coverage...the balance that I have in my hands is RM700...been thinking of giving my mom RM200 to pay for the bills..(although my younger brother paid for the bills)..I feel it is conscientious for me to unload his burden a little bit, since he is also pursuing his Master degree with his own pocket money, lucky for him..it doesn't cost him much...since he's taking the part time degree and still working unlike me who chose to be the full timer.
Some ask, why don't I be like my brother. Pursuing master part time, and still working. They say, I act kind of selfish about this matter.
First of all, the course of my choice, doesn't have the part time mode..it is a full course work with compression of three semesters within 1 year. The class starts at 9.00 and finishes at 4.30 every day except for the weekend. From that 9.00 to 4.30, we are going to learn about the same subject, all day, every day for the minimum  of 10 days. And why is that? because my course are taught by visiting professors invited by the institute from variety of countries and universities and they don't stay here long. After, they are done with the topic. They will pack their bag and leave for their country.
And aside from the class, we do have to attend to the forum, the dialogue and seminars held in the institute. So basically, we don't have much time to do anything else besides study and working on project paper, written report and test. Furthermore, I will be taking my internship for two months somewhere oversea... (I have no idea yet where to go...) So, basically, working is not an option at all.
I am so glad I get chosen to study this course, since I'm not the brightest and for sure not the creamiest of the crop. And given that the fact, this course alone cost close to RM10000 per semester, there's no way I could afford it has it not for the financial aid given to me by the institute. The plus side is, I don't have to pay it back and I'm not bound to serve them when I graduated. The only catch is, I have to graduate within 1 year. This expectation is due to the fact that, the student can only graduate if they are able to achieve minimum of B in all the subject they learnt and the project paper...any C candidate is considered failure. If you don't do well, you have to pay the institute back. So, the pressure is quite tough. I just hope I can make it, since it is my passion at the first place, and it's my choice...I have no other option than to work hard.
Some says, I'm lucky to be a government servant because it is easy for me to pursue my master and given the scholarship. Some says, it's easy because I am a Malay. I say, that is rubbish. MOE doesn't offer the scholarship to a mere three years in service teacher. There is one course mate of mine who serve the government for 10 years, before she's given the JPA scholarship to further her study. I bet, she's the eldest among us girls. I use girls because, none of the female students in my course is married. I bet the boys are all still single except for the middle age Briton student that I mistook as one of the associate prof during my 1st day.  I bet, it is intentionally done by the institute in order to ensure full commitment received from the students. So, if you are the government servant, you will understand, that seniority is a core business. You might be great or excellent. But you have to wait patiently for your time to come. If you don't have the patience, and you can afford to study without the financial aid. There's always a self fund method and the part time courses made available for you. But if you are looking for some thing more. The key word is initiative on your part.
And, I'm not so sure I get the financial aid because I am born Malay. Although the so called Quota is often use as a reference to clarify why the so called underperformed Malays able to get scholarship, I work my ass for it, not forgetting some sprinkle of luck and God will. Most of the student in my course received either the financial aid from the institute or JPA recipient.  And they are from all over the place..I can assure you the Malays are not the majority here. There are Malaysian from different races who received the same financial aid as mine...and not only that...the foreign students also receive the same financial aids. They are from German, London, Taiwan, China, Thailand and Indonesia. So, please have some respect in that matter. I don't say that I deserve the scholarship, because I know the fact that there are other people whom are better than me. But like everyone else, I do work hard and now I have the opportunity. This opportunity doesn't come to me, instead I take an effort to look for it myself.
I am ordinary person who has no influential person or connection to back her up. but I do have, a supportive mother and siblings to back me up and some friends that keep supporting me through thick and thin. All i have, is a heart to make myself a better person. I am in preparation to go to another step in my life. I have accepted the fact, that my personal life suck and I am a failure in relationship. So, in order to make me feel better about myself, I'm going to start doing what I do best. Which is to use my head to think and absorbing as much info as I could, to become as much level headed as possible and to be able to make people say "She's got a point there".
By the way, I'm looking for a part time job. If any of you, need help with translating, proof reading, writing job....I would be glad to work...I would do a home tutoring too if you guys need help in mastering English language or some enrichment for that matter...after all...I am an English teacher...though I might not be the excellent one...but I'm good. Don't worry about the money, I work cheap.